finding you

thirty

Nobody says anything for a moment and I wonder if I even spoke English. 

I hear Ron sigh suddenly, about to speak up. "Theo, you of all people... should not be saying that." 

I shake my head and open my mouth to correct her but am cut off by Rhys taking a step towards me.

"Theo..." He breathes and my heart stops as I look up into his eyes. He looks affected still... but more like he's wounded rather than angry. He looks like he wants to say something but he presses his mouth into a hard line instead as if changing his mind. His eyes harden as he looks over to Ronnie. "I'm not sleeping with her. Jesus. Where did you even fucking hear that? Is that what this is about?"

Ronnie laughs but it's a hateful sound. I can hear Rhys take a deep breath as if he's trying to hold his patience. I want to stop this weird, awkward situation now. Why is Ron even mad? It's not like Rhys betrayed her. It's not like he betrayed me either but I still have more of a reason to be mad than she does. 

"This is dumb. It doesn't matter. Is this party close?" I say, trying my damn best to sound okay. Going to this party is the last thing I want to do but I can't have Rhys think I'm mad over this. I can't allow myself to look crazy like that. Maybe we can go for ten minutes or something. That won't be so bad. 

I can do that.

I also don't want to admit that I do miss Rhys. I just miss being around him. I know how pathetic that makes me look.

Rhys looks at me, seeming to try and figure me out before responding. "Yes, it's like five minutes away from here. Gunna come?" 

I simply nod with a small smile. I look over at Ronnie and Ashton. "Wanna go?"

Ronnie looks at me with a look that can only be described as pity. It's like she's feeling sorry for me and it really makes me want to choke her. Do not look at me like that!

"Let's go then," Ashton answers for her.

Seeming pleased with that answer, Rhys steps forward so he's directly in front of me and I wonder what he's about to do. A little smirk plays on his lips before grabbing the back of my neck and pressing his lips to my forehead. It all happens so fast I'm left standing there processing what the heck just happened and Rhys is already running back to his teammates. 

I don't even know what to think right now.

*

"Theo, I thought I loved the idea of you two. But Rhys is an asshole. I know you know this but honestly, I'm getting sketchy feelings from him."

I nod slowly but I'm not really hearing what Ron's saying. I'm still riding a temporary high from Rhys's sudden tiny PDA moment. Was I worrying about nothing? What the heck is happening? Maybe I am crazy and literally nothing is wrong here.

"Theo? Theo. Hello?" Ron's hand is waving in my face and I blink back to attention. She sighs and pulls the cup to her lips, downing the last of the vodka cranberry soda Ashton made for her. 

The house is small but open. There isn't much furniture here so it makes me wonder just how often this guy's uncle really is here. It honestly seems like either someone's moving in or someone's moving out. Me and Ronnie are sitting by ourselves on a couch in the living room. The 'living room' is basically just an open space with one couch in the corner. Some people are across the room with a couple of tables set up for beer pong. I almost want to try and play a game just to do something but I don't know how. I also haven't seen Rhys yet. He texted Ashton the address and we came straight here. Maybe he's still at the school getting cleaned up. 

"I'm just looking out for you." Ron says again before muttering, "I need a refill."

"Ron, I'm fine." I decide to stick with that line for now. It seems to be my go-to choice of words lately. I look down at my cup. I let Ashton make a coke with some vodka and I can actually feel it calm my nerves a bit. I look over at Ashton whos happily making friends with some of Rhys's teammates while playing beer pong. I wish I was more like that.

Suddenly a familiar voice rings through the crowd and I see Nial enter the room, making me instantly feel a lot better. He sees me over on the couch and does a pretend shocked look as if it's been so long since he's seen us. I giggle and wave to him as he makes his way over to us. 

"Ladies." He sings. "Can one of you fine pieces of art please show me to the bar?" 

I laugh while Ronnie rolls her eyes. I point to the small table in the corner with a few six-packs and mickeys. Nial does a bow and tells us he will bring us drinks so we don't have to overexert ourselves in getting up to do it. I laugh at that because Ronnie and I have been particularly anti-social this evening. We have claimed this couch as our own and given that this is one of the only pieces of furniture in the house, I think we're quite reluctant to leave it.

"I hope she doesn't come. No, actually I do hope she comes." Ron speaks after a few minutes. The noise in the room is getting louder as more people arrive. The music is starting to get loud, too. I wonder briefly if the neighbors will get upset with how loud we are. I hope they don't call the cops or anything. That would be scary.

"Why?" I turn my head to Ron so she sees my disagreeing face. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Trust me. I want to put her in her place. She needs a whipping." 

I snort at her words. "Honestly, Ron. What is this actually about? She's not after Ashton. She's after Rhys." I say the last part quietly. I'm not sure if she heard it. 

"Theo... I didn't say this because Ashton didn't want you to know. He didn't want you to be mad at him."

My eyes shoot right back to hers. What is she talking about? What is she hiding from me? I can already feel the anger and hurt simmering in my veins. 

She takes a deep breath and looks down into her empty cup while she speaks. "They slept together. You were in Georgia. It happened like right after graduation... it wasn't when me and him... were..."

I should feel more shocked and betrayed by this but I don't. I'm pissed, yeah. I'm grossed out, yeah. But, I'm not even surprised. How bad is that? My view of guys have never been good from a very young age. Is it sad that I didn't expect just a little bit better from one of my best friends? Everything that I feel towards guys just keeps getting proven true to me. Not one guy has made me question otherwise, and watching Rhys with Brooke today made sure of that.

Ron doesn't even get to hear what I have to say on that because Nial comes over to us with our drinks. 

"Here you ladies go." We take the drinks from him. I smell cherries and I immediately take a sip. It tastes delicious. "Theo, I miss you."

I look up at Nial and my cheeks turn pink. "Aw. I miss you, too, Nial." I idly worry that Ron will question why we would miss each other. Nial would probably tell her about the lake and I know she would be upset by that.

He smiles at me before motioning behind him. "You guys seen Rhys yet?"

We shake our heads. I look over to the crowds behind him again. People are coming in left and right. Rhys could very much be here but I just can't see him.

"Okay, I'm gonna go see if he's around and say hi to some guys. Catch you later?"

I nod at him, smiling. "Maybe you can challenge me to a beer pong match." I eye the tables in the corner but I cringe a little when I see Ashton.

"Oh God, yes." Nial beams and looks way too excited. "Except let's be teammates because no offense, but I get the impression you don't play pong a lot."

I start to laugh but am immediately cut off by Brooke's loud annoying laugh. Like all of our reactions are synced as one, we turn our heads to see Brooke strutting through the door headed to the living room. I don't even have time to make some snide remark about her outfit because I see who's walking right behind her as if they came to the party together.

It's Rhys.

Rhyson Collins is walking into this party with Brooke basically dangling off his arm.