American Shenanigans

Complicated Family

America groaned in his seat.

This was the 24th time he had groaned out loud in the middle of the world conference and it was annoying.

A certain German was just about sure that he would physically combust sooner or later. Dealing with this crowd of idiots was no easy task, though one may be more troublesome than America, America may as well be the worst to deal with.

Germany was a very patient and kind soul, he wanted to give everyone the benefit of a doubt and gave way too many chances to everyone. Especially Italy.

He knows Italy well as a good friend, Italy has a lot of unused potential at his disposal. Perhaps one day the Italian could grow to become a bit more useful. This was one reason for keeping up with the pathetic romantic Italian.

But oh man. Patience can run so, very thin.

This was to the naive superpower of the world, America.

Germany can admit that he had shared quite a few interests with America, dogs, sports, and working out were some of the few. These small shared interests let him know the American a bit better.

But this guy was just flat out unpredictable, swinging from face to face.

America was spontaneous, you can never tell when his mood will drop or jump. Sometimes he is just as readable as a book, but a good lot of the time he is an open mystery. Everyone knows him generally, but just how deep does his character go?

As many possible reasons and sides America has, this does not excuse the fact that he is currently being annoying and Germany might as well punch America unconscious for the sake of his own sanity.

Germany was using every ounce of his power to not yell at America who was groaning loudly once again.

He creaked his head towards America, "America? May I ask why you groan so loudly in the middle of someone speaking?"

America looked up at Germany, eye bags heavy with a clearly worn out face, "Dude. Am I related to you?"

"........ What?"

Germany was now hit again by a stopping question. Speaking to America was like a fight you can't win. Once you feel like you know his rhythm he swings in an entire different style. It's impossible to ever predict or even overcome America like that.

America continued, "I mean- Prussia claims he's my older brother and so he's also your brother so does that mean we're related? And if I'm related to you am I also related to Austria, Switsy, and Liech? Or if I'm not related to Prussia what about Spain? He has like a million kids in South and Central America so am I related to all of them? And if Spain is related to Portugal and Portugal is related to Macau does that mean I'm related to China and if I'm related to China then does that mean I'm related to all of Asia-"

The mixed American was then cut off by a too-kind-for-his-own-good blond German.

"Ok, ok, slow down. Who are you most sure you are related to?" Germany asked. This was not even his problem. Germany could've left America wondering endlessly, but he didn't. The biggest flaw of Germany, he can't help but help others even if it sidetracks him endlessly.

"America, you literally were my brother." England stated.

"But then if you're related to me then all my other colonizers are related too right? If I'm your 'brother' and you had some kind of ruling over India then isn't he also related to me? India is related to a lot of the Middle East since you can not deny his historical influence!"

"And then what about Poland and Germany? They have a lot of influence with me too! And then if this is that and that is this- Who is my family!? This has been bothering me ever since that one time a bunch of you guys fought over who was my brother or something!"