American Shenanigans

EP

The world meeting was running as per usual. As per usual means like the boys locker room.

A lawless wasteland of war.

Surprisingly, one certain young blonde nation wasn't joining in the hellscape around him.

America looked increasingly frustrated at his laptop. Typing and typing, clicking and clicking, facepalm and banging his head on the table. Nothing new.

"God dang it Karen! I'm not gonna join your stupid ass baby shower with Linda and Sharon!" America haughtily shut his laptop closed.

Russia leaned in towards America's direction. "Who is this Karen, Linda, and Sharon Amerika?" Russia asked.

"Oh- Huh? They're just errr... Faulty names for..... God I don't like explaining this." America faltered while trying to come up with a way to describe the women.

France heard women and America, is that not enough for him to join?

"Amerique! You've been hitting up on ladies!?" France gasped, he then tackled America in a hug, "You've finally gone out with your denseness!"

America subsequently pushed France off yelling, "Ew! I would NOT ever, ever, ever choose any of those women to woo! And what do you mean dense?"

Russia coughed to grab the attention to himself, "Amerika, you've been making human friends? You always seem to make so many friends despite your punchable face!"

America laughed. "If ya wanna fight I'm all up for it but I gotta ask permission from boss to die!"

"Such restrictions for being the acclaimed county of "freedom", da?" Russia laughed.

France shivered, 'What kind of relationship is this!?'

France then shakily changed the topic, "So who are these three women you have mentioned? Would you mind introducing me?"

America tapped his foot for a moment to come up with an explanation. After a few seconds, he brightened up as if there were an actual idea lightbulb over his head.

America then begun,

"Well... Karen, Linda, and Sharon are the general stereotypical privileged EP of retail. They usually have a similar haircut, work in the PTA, use their child's achievements as an excuse for entitlement and better service to them only, and will demand for your manager when they can't get what they want in the middle of your shift even though there is no one elsetherebutyouandyourcoworkerandthenshedemandsformorefreestuffthatistotallyagainstworkethicand-"

"Ok, ok we see that you have some horrible experience with these women." China interrupted, setting a hand on America's shoulder.

America flinched a little, snapping out of his flashbacks of minimum wage retail job hell.

He quickly recovered and laughed, "Well I gotta admit, you carry the most Karen energy here China apart from Finland."

China didn't exactly get the definition of what "Karen energy" is, but he gladly took it as an insult to have an excuse to fight America.

China grabbed America's ears and stretched them, "What does that mean you imperialist bastard!?"

Russia came over and removed China's hands from America.

"China~ You know it is not your turn to fight Amerika, right? I have already asked first!" Russia pouted.

The air around the three became a silent conflict, with fight, flight, and dumbass energy crashing against each other.

France was ready to try and enter, until he realized that the three superpowers were right there, gathered, and possibly ready to fight. So he went off to go bug England.
Y'know. Just for safety.

"Ok Karen, Sharon, break it up." America joked, pushing China and Russia apart.

"Wait, you called these women an EP? What's that?" China asked.

America's hero smile slowly died down into an exhausted sigh.

"Entitled Parents." America replies tiredly.

What unfolded before the two older superpowers was the young, upbeat and annoying American shifting into a mentally tired and dead minimum wage retail employee on their 7th cup of black coffee on a graveyard shift.

"They'd brag about how great their kids are doing in school and demand special treatment because of it...."

America sat. Sighed. And then slammed his head down onto the table, as if the weight of all the poor, American retail employees despair was dropped onto his head.

"You seem awfully tired for being so young. Even though I want to snap your neck in half eight times in a row, I'm actually feeling a bit concerned for you!" Russia exclaimed.

"Don't tell me they're Chinese..." China grumbled.

"No, no, that's the angry Chinese lady- EPs are usually white.." America answered tiredly.

"Have y'all never heard of Reddit?" America asked.

"I'm not into capitalist, imperialist, and fascist propaganda."

"Hong Kong doesn't allow me on the Internet."

Russia and China replied as their, "No."

"Oh well, you'll find a lottttttaaaaaaaa stuff there. And also, I'm not my boss Russia. If I could get higher salaries for my retail and supposedly useless workers I'd love to." America retorted.

America paused for a moment.

He then burst into his hero laugh, returning back to America rather than being the tired retail worker.

"Hahaha! Well, that sure was a fun rant, huh, guys?"
America's eyes saw no god.

China knew those eyes very well, he was taken a back for a little since this completely inferior race to the Chinese was built completely on Puritan belief that would even scare the Irish.

But who could blame him? People suck.

Needless to say, Russia and China had found some relation to the young country.

Stupid people never change no matter how developed or powerful their nation may be.

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A/N: For the retail workers out there. I am so sorry y'all gotta be dealing with this kind of stuff.