Kismet - E2 Harry Wells

31- deep breaths

I couldn't be a coward. I'm not a coward.
~

Today's the day...

Iris is supposed to die today.

We've done everything possible to avoid this.

Here I lay in my bed unable to fall asleep. I wish I could make time stop. Then maybe, just maybe, nothing bad would happen. My hand reluctantly reaches for my phone.

12:03 am

Cisco🖤
1 text message

Before even clicking on the message, I know it's not going to be good news.

Cisco🖤: Felicity couldn't find anything that could work as a power source...

I quickly lock my phone and just stare at my reflection. I watch as tears begin to stream down my face... yet my expression doesn't change. Even with all the technology I have, I couldn't help with a power source for the bazooka. My breathing becomes rigid. Before I level the city without even lifting a finger, I shut my eyes tight and think of everything that makes me happy... My parents, Neptune, Cisco, Harry, everyone at the lab, working on new tech... I feel something burning in my right hand. When I look down, I see my phone burnt to a crisp. Great. Gonna need a new one of those. I toss what used to be my phone, onto the ground. My legs swing to the side of my bed and my body follows. I go to the kitchen and grab some yogurt. After taking one bite, my stomach starts hurting and I feel.... nauseous? I thought I couldn't-

"Oh no..." My hand goes to my mouth and I speed to the kitchen sink. I vomit the one bite of yogurt I had and anything I ate last night. Yuck.. "I need some air." I walk over to the window and open it. The cold air hits me but I don't tremble. Cold doesn't affect me and neither does heat. That's nice I guess. I climb through (no there is no fire escape) and look up to where the roof is. I've only jumped these heights like 2 times but, nonetheless, I jump and I land on the roof feet first. "At least it wasn't my face." My eyes softly close and I listen to the city. A family shouts in pure excitement as their favorite baseball team wins a game after overtime. A man complains about how hard his job is and his wife comforts him.

"Hey. What are you doing up here?"

I open my eyes to find Barry sitting next to me on the ledge. "How did you know I was up here?"

"Cisco told me that every time you're frustrated, upset, or can't sleep, you like to come up to the roof." He pauses for a moment then speaks again. "What's on your mind?"

"All these people... they're living their normal lives and have normal problems. They don't know about the fact that there's a multiverse or- or that there's a psychopath who calls himself Savitar running around threatening to kill people's loved ones." I stand up and walk toward the center of the roof. "I screwed up, Barry. I can't help Iris. He's too fast and smart and knows our every move. I just- I-"

"Hey hey hey!" Barry gets up and grabs my shoulders. "It's not your fault. We did the best we could. Now we just have to see if our work paid off."

"I can't just sit around and wait."

"I know." He spoke softly and dropped his arms by his sides.

We stay silent for a minute or so until I break the silence. "Why aren't you with Iris? You should be with her."

"She wants caviar."

I smile to myself. "Of course she does."

~

53 minutes until Iris dies

I pace back and forth. How do we always end up here? Everything always gets so screwed up. Savitar has Iris now... I glance over to the medbay and see Barry talking to Wally through the wall. Poor Wally.. If only HR kept his mouth shut... My mind and body suddenly go numb. I feel so.. stuck. I didn't realize I had fallen to my knees sobbing until I heard Cisco's voice. At first, it sounded distant. He grabbed my arms and started hoisting me up. Cisco always did this ever since we were kids. When i'd start crying, i'd fall to the ground and he'd pick me up. He said he would keep doing it until I started picking myself up. I guess I haven't been able to do that on my own just yet..