𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐌𝐄 ━━ 𝐣𝐨𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐛𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐢

FORTY FIVE

"It bit." She replied while hanging up her jacket. "It was a '50s themed restaurant. They have to cook in a costume and dance on the counter. I mean, I was a sous–chef at Cafe des Artistes. How could I take a job where I have to make something called 'Laverne and curly fries'?" She joined the three of us on the couch.

"Don't do it then." I shrugged my shoulders.

"How can I not do it? I have $127 in the bank!" She raised her voice in panic.

"Monica, relax. Go get a beer." And Joey came in with words of calmness and wisdom.

"I don't want a beer!" She flailed her arms around.

"Who said it was for you?" Joey countered, making me smack his arm. Then, Chandler and Ross came in all gloomily. I moved over to the couch since I was in Joey's lap a moment ago.

"Hi." The two said in Ross' depressing voice.

"What's the matter with you?" Rachel leaned her chin on her hand.

"These mean guys at the coffee house took my hat." Chandler put his things on the counter.

"No! You're kidding. Seriously?" Rachel, Joey, and I stood up.

"It was ridiculous. You know, these guys, they're bullies." Ross pouted as the rest of us joined them by the kitchen. "Actual bullies, you know? We're grownups. This kind of stuff isn't supposed to happen anymore."

"Ohh." Rachel and Ross hugged each other.

"You know, we could do that if we told your brother and Ross." Joey whispered in a sing–song voice. I rolled my eyes jokingly.

"Would you rather us be a secret or you get your ass kicked by my brother?" I looked at him.

"I'll take my chances with the ass–kicking. I'll finally be able to kiss you in front of anyone." He sneaked an arm around my waist.

"Ohh...oh, no, wait a minute. I have no one." Chandler sighed.

"Let's go down there and get your hat back." Joey suggested.

"Forget it." Chandler waved it off. "It's probably stripped and sold for parts by now." He sat down at the dining table.

"Hey! I went up." Monica held the newspaper in her hands.

"What?" I glanced over at her. 

"My stock. M.E.G., it went up two points. Do you realize that if I had invested my $127 in myself yesterday, that I'd, like, have...a lot more than that today?" She struggled with the math. "I'm going to do it."

"Do what?" Rachel inquired.

"Put all my money in me." She went over to the coffee table.

"You don't know anything about the stock market, Monica." Rachel reminded her.

"What's to know?" She called someone. "Buy! Sell! High! Low! Bears! Bulls! Yes, Manhattan. Yes, telephone number of the stock...selling...store." Monica didn't even know the name. Joey and Rachel went with Phoebe to meet her father, but that didn't go according to plan. The next day, Joey and I were at Monica's apartment early in the morning.

"Could you tell her to shut up, Joey? I haven't even had my morning coffee." I groaned and leaned my head against his shoulder, closing my eyes for a second.

"I want to buy 5 shares of S.G.J., and I want to buy them now! Come on! The time is money, my friend!" She yelled, making me jump.

"Alright, I don't think I'm going to need my morning coffee today." I rubbed my eyes. Rachel stepped out of her room.

"'Time's money, my friend'?" She questioned.

"Yeah, you missed 'takes money to make money'." Joey shoved another bite of the waffles I made for us.

"Oh, and don't forget about 'don't make me come down there and kick your wall–street butt'." I added as well.

"Hey, I made $17 before breakfast. What have you done?" She glanced back at us.

"Well, we had breakfast here. So, technically, I saved $3.50." Joey shrugged his shoulders.

"How did you make $17?" Rachel inquired while making herself a cup of coffee and joining me and Joey at the table.

"I split my money, and I bought some shares of C.H.P. and Z.X.Y.." She answered.

"And why those specifically?" I watched her pour another cup of coffee.

"C.H.P. 'cause I used to have a crush on Erik Estrada. And Z.X.Y. because I think it sounds like zexy." She giggled.

"What happened to M.E.G.?" Rachel looked up at her.

"M.E.G. was good for me, but I dumped her. You know, my motto is 'get out before they go down'." Monica responded.

"That is so not my motto." Joey wrapped an arm around my shoulders and brought me into him.

"Joey Tribbiani, my boyfriend, ladies." I rolled my eyes jokingly, and he pecked my cheek. The girls awed at the same time. "We should get ready for your niece's christening." I said to him. We went to our separate apartments and got changed. We went to the church and met up with his family. I grabbed onto Joey's arm the entire time.

"Suparna, you have got to relax. No one here knows us, and everybody loves you already." Joey tried to comfort me.

"The last time I saw your parents was before we started dating. How am I supposed to act now that I'm your girlfriend?" I stuttered out.

"Be yourself. I love you just the way you are, so why shouldn't anyone else?" He kissed my temple as we walked around to meet his family.

"Mama G!" I greeted Gloria with kisses on the cheeks.

"Oh, Suparna! You look even more beautiful than the last time I saw you." She squeezed my cheeks hard, but I didn't complain. "Maria! Francisca! This is the girl I wanted you to meet." All of a sudden, I was surrounded by elder Italian women, asking me questions about having kids and getting married to Joey. 

"Could I steal her away for a moment?" Joey held up a finger at them before pulling me away. "I want you to meet my niece." He put his hands on my shoulders and led me to the little girl. "This is my niece, Lucia." He took the baby into his arms. At that moment, I knew exactly what I want in life. I want to get married to Joey, and I wanted to two to three kids. But most importantly, I want to wake up with him for the rest of my life.

"Hi, Lucia. You are really cute. Yes, you are. Yes, you are." I said to her in a baby voice. She cooed in response, reaching up to grab my finger. "I'm your uncle Joey's girlfriend, Suparna." Did I really just introduce myself to an infant?

"She's going to be your aunt Suparna very soon." While I looked down at Lucia, I barely noticed Joey watching me interact with his niece. He had been thinking the same things about kids and marriage. He wanted the same things in life with you. 

The next day, we decided to visit Monica's new job at the '50s diner since she lost all of her money in the stock market.

"Look at her." Ross chuckled as we squeezed into one booth.

"Hi, Monica." Chandler called out. She looked up from a customer's order, and her jaw dropped when she saw us.

"Nice boobs!" The six of us waved at her.

"Guys, guys, check this out." He dropped a quarter into the little jukebox and pressed a number corresponding to the name of the song. 'Y.M.C.A.' by The Village People started blasting through the speakers as the various workers, including our Monica, got on the counters and danced. Chandler dropped thirty quarters on the table. 

"Excellent." Joey nodded his head, and the teasing began.