Your Hearts A Mess. (Ryden Fanfic)

Chapter 7: Difficult For Me.

Ceilings are just barriers of some sort. They keep things covered, keeps things safe from what? The sky? Well also leaves, bird shit, and-- okay yeah we need ceilings. I keep staring at the ceiling, studying the little specks of paint. I can't sleep. It's probably like two a.m. I just can't stop thinking about Ryan. How is this going to work? How am I going to somehow be his friend and work up into getting him to like me back?

My thoughts were interuppted when I heard the fridge open from the other side of the room. I sit up and look, hiding half of my head under through couch like a hippo. It's just Ryan, he's looking for a midnight snack probably. Did he even notice I'm awake?

I watch him carefully, watching the way he bends down his lanky form-- definitely not checking out his ass. He still looks so beautiful and he isn't even mine.

Right then, Ryan closes the fridge, turning around and freezing when he sees me. I was just watching him like a scared hippo, of course he's going to be creeped out.

"Hi." I say out in the open air. He looks anywhere but me and does a little wave. He still is a shy little prick, that's one of the things I love about him.

"Hey." He says in that voice that gives me shivers. I bite my lip and sit up a little more so he can see me better. "I'm just going to go-" He points to the direction of his bedroom awkwardly but I cut him off.

"How are you?" I mentally hit myself because on how eager I sound. I just don't want him to go away, especially with Dan. "Like- What's up?" I am so awkward, holy shit.

He looks at the ground with a confused look and I just want to smack him. It's a simple question, I'm not asking you to fuck me. "I'm great. Dan is amazing." He tells and wow that was fucking low. Is this pay back? For what?

I decide to play sassy. "Oh I didn't ask about your boyfriend, I was talking about your career." I give a little smirk and I can see him shift. He hums and sets whatever he was holding on the counter.

"It's going good. The Young Veins and I are debuting our new album soon. How's my band?" He remarks. What went up his ass during the year?

"It's not your band if your not in it." I state with a rude tone.

"Well what happened then? You have been hiding ditch for a year now and the band isn't going anywhere! Why aren't you telling your fans where you are? Your not even on your social media sites anymore. " He rants kind of angrily. I wasn't going to tell him that I was heart-broken over him or that I miss him. But his last statement kind of surprises me.

"You noticed that I was gone." I say quietly and look over at him in awe. His own eyes widen and he scratches his arm. He does that when he's nervous, I remember.

"Well- I uh was just curious why you haven't really been doing anything for a year." He stutters."The fans think you died Bren." He gives me that nickname and my heart flutters, making me smile a little at my hands.

"I just don't know what to do with the band that's all." I lie. I know exactly what I want to do with the band, I just don't want to start doing it because I have no motivation to start interviews, tours, and shows again. I am still a sad little shit. It's just difficult for me.

"You haven't written any songs yet?" He lifts an eyebrow. I jump. "No no, of course I have, but I just think there no good." I chuckle.

He hums and picks up the thing he was holding earlier, I can't make out what it is. "Well good luck with that. Goodnight then." He leaves into the hallway, giving me a glance before completely disappearing.