Your Hearts A Mess. (Ryden Fanfic)

Chapter 3: Clean up for Make up.

I am sitting on my bed now, watching my friends look around my room.

"Did you even wash these clothes?" Pete held up some of my t-shirts. I shake my head. "How about underwear?" I don't say anything. "Gross B. I'll get ALL your clothes in the wash. Patrick, get him in the shower. And make sure he uses soap!" Pete adds before leaving my room with a big basket of clothes. I guess I'm finally being cleaned up.

Patrick smiles at me and gives me a towel. He's so nice to me. Really. I don't deserve friends like these. I nod and travel to the bathroom, closing the door and stripping.

"Here. I got you some Axe body wash." Spencer says on the other side of the door and then opening it just slightly so he can hand me the bottle. "People dig that stuff." He adds before closing the door.

I smirk and turn on the water before hopping in. The scolding water burns my delicate skin as it runs down my pale body. I wash and wash, making sure I smell amazing. Then washing my hair with this coconut stuff I bought when I was grocery shopping.

When I finally finished my 30 minute long shower, I headed out with a towel around my waist. My hair was still as long as when it was during the Pretty. Odd tour. I didn't bother cutting it last year.

In my bedroom, the three guys were laying out my clothes and making confused faces. "Teenage mutant ninja turtles? Really?" Pete said boredly. I fight back a chuckle.

"I love that shirt." I shot back with a smirk. "What are you guys doing?" I ask, now curious why all my clothes were on my dirty bed.

"Picking out your outfit." Patrick said happily while throwing a shirt a pile.

"What pile is that?"

"Not wearing pile." Spencer chimes in and throws a pair of pants in there too. I then heard him sigh. "B?" I look up at him and my heart drops. "Why do you have this under your pillow?" He says while holding up Ryan's old shirt from 2007. I rush over there an snatch it from his hands, quickly putting in in my nightstand. That was the shirt he left at my house when we first had sex. Don't cry. Stay strong Brendon.

Everyone looks at me with a sad expression. I really am pathetic aren't I? "You need to wash your bed..and your entire house." Pete says while sniffing my pillow. I roll my eyes and look at what Patrick's doing.

"I think I got it!" He exclaims. "I finally picked out his outfit!" I just laugh and so does everyone else because it just sounds so funny coming out of his mouth. "Okay so I was thinking a navy blue t-shirt with black jeans. Don't forget your old converse, it'll remind him of the old days." He chuckles and shoved the outfit in my hands, also a pair of underwear and a belt as well.

My friends turn around so I can get changed. I look alive. Well I mean sure I look clean, but I don't feel clean. They all turn back around and smirk. "Good." Pete agrees. I stare in the mirror, studying my dark hair growing on my face. I feel like a lumberjack.

"Your ready." Spencer says and throws me my phone. I catch it and put it in my pocket. I'm not ready. I'm so not ready. "Well you better get going." Everyone nods. Apparently I just HAD to do this today because if I didn't it would ruin the plan. I shutter and make my way to my car with the boys following.

"I put the address in your GPS." Pete tell's me and I thank him. I don't want to do this. I get in my car, almost on the verge of tears. I look at my friends one last time before pulling out of my driveway and going down the road.

I'm so fucking dead. I can't even bear breathing at the moment. I drive the way the GPS tells me to and suddenly I'm on his road. My grip tightens on the wheel and I swear I almost swivel the entire car.

I vaguely remember this street. I recognize this street now.

*Flashback*

"I want to live on this street." Ryan says while looking out the bus window and pointing down at the lovely line of apartments. We were on our Honda Civic tour, on our way to the venue and Ryan and I were holding each other, looking out the window.

"One day. I promise. We'll live there together and have a cat named Abu." I say dreamily and chuckle. He squeezes me tighter and kisses my cheek.

"Hey were almost here." Zack walks in and we scramble away from each other, hiding our love. We both nod and purse our lips. Ryan looks at me with such sadness in his eyes, probably wanting the same thing I do. Freedom.

*End of Flashback.*

I was so lost in the memories, I passed the drive in to the parking lot. He got what he wanted. He got to live on the street of his dreams. I turn around and pull into the parking lot, quickly parking.

I get out and warm myself up. Don't fucking cry. What ever you do, do not cry! I breathe and make my way to the inside.

It was very old-fashioned, very much like Ryan. The lobby was tan with grey couches, bright yellow lights shining down at the woman in middle, accompanying a counter which I guess was main service.

I go up with shaky hands and ring the little bell. She looks up. "How can I help you?" The woman with bright red hair asks.

I cough. "Room of Ryan Ross?" She looks down at the paper.

"Floor 6, room 265, luxury apartment on your right." She answers and points to the silver elevator by one of the couches.

I nod and thank her, making my way up the elevator now. I never liked elevators. I always had a fear of them stopping, getting stuck in them.

When I reach floor six, I feel a huge wind push me. It was most felt in my chest area, my heart is jumping like mad. Every step closer I get to apartment 265, I feel like my broken heart is going up by throat.

I now stop in front of the door, my shaky hands against by side. I can't knock, my hands won't allow me. I literally am frozen. I just stand in front of his door like a stalker, well I'm just hesitant.

It's now or never and-- I knocked. My shaky knuckles feel like they have been burned. I heard rustling inside and I want to run, run away from this stupid plan. What was the plan again? I have literally frozen.

The door swings open, revealing-- A blonde man? Everything inside me relaxes. It's probably the wrong number, phew.

"Hello?" The blonde haired man said with a confused expression.

I chuckle. "Sorry to bother you. I think I got the wrong house, but would you happen to know where Ryan Ross lives?" I am so polite.

"Uh he's in here actually." He says as he points behind him. My entire being drops. I almost laugh hysterically. No. This can't. No.

"Who are you exactly?" I almost say in hysterics. He settles against the door frame.

"I'm Dan. Ryan's boyfriend." he says with a confident smile. My broken heart just shattered into minerals. This fucking can't be happening. I force a smile and a tear threatens to escape my eye.

"Oh. Well bye." I hum and turn straight around, never coming back here again. I am so fucking dead.

"Brendon?" I heard a familiar shout and I just stop. Right then and there, right in the middle of the hallway. Do I dare turn around to this criminal scum that I claim as the love of my life. I do.

I slowly turn around and there he is. Tall and still lanky, his eyes seem a brighter honey-brown, his chestnut hair now more formed than the Pretty.Odd era. He's absolutely stunning. Always has been. Don't cry. He's not yours.

He looks at me from where he and Dan stand, I am halfway down the hallway and I shout back at him. "I have to go!" And I rush back around, down the elevator, and leaving that terrible place. I get inside my car and hit the wheel, causing it to honk.

And I do what I do best. I cry over Ryan Ross and his awful new boyfriend, Dan.