Your Hearts A Mess. (Ryden Fanfic)

Chapter 32: Claimed when Stolen from a Confused Heart.

In the many times I watched him go, I let him go this time. I let him leave even though I wanted him to stay by my side. Screw that Sarah girl, who's Sarah. Some girl at a bar?

She was beautiful though.

I linger around the shiny window, watching him pull out of my now empty driveway. Empty like my once pure heart. A heart that I yearn for, that heart I owned when I fell in love with Ryan. When he loved me.

But now it's a year later in my minimal existence, no pure locks and a heavy weight on my shoulder.

I tie the bow around my neck in the reflection of the window, seeing myself. The only person who can appreciate me the way Ryan did, was the one and lonely.

After I get ready for the outing, I head downstairs sluggishly with frown drawn on my lips. I just want him.

I look down at my phone, my thumbs brushing over his contact. I press down on his name and his number appears, that number that I have always called back in the day.

My thumb was about the press the call button, but a small message at the notifications bar pops up. It was Sarah, the girl from the bar that I met awhile ago. I know I should be happy that maybe this can be an opportunity to move on, but why would I want to move on from the man that loved me? There's plenty of reasons but I choose to ignore them.

The message from Sarah declared that we were supposed to meet up in 20 minutes at the coffee shop on the corner, the one where me and Ryan spent a lot of time at when we used to tour around L.A. It was one of our favorite spots.

I grab my keys and head out, taking a short walk to the shop. I didn't choose the place, I had no say. If I had a say we would be at a place where Ryan and I would never go. The other places are just waiting to be claimed by his presence.

In the coffee shop, I spot the beautiful girl from the bar in a skirt and cardigan, her hair in a pony tail. I wave and she grins, her skinny hand patting a spot in front of her. I float over, my soul not in it as I sit down in front of this girl that doesn't make me flutter like a certain honey-eyed man.

She greets me with a warm smile, "Hey Brendon, how are you?" Not great, pretty beat up how are you?

"I'm doing fine, you?" I hum and play with the straw wrapper on the table, the paper rolling in my fingertips.

She tells me about her job, where she lives and so on. She just keeps talking and to be perfectly honest, I'm okay with it. I need to just listen to someone talk for once, I don't need to speak or comment on something. My system remains quiet.

Sarah notices after awhile that I'm abnormally quiet, it obviously bothering her because of the crease in her eyebrows. I recognize that people do that, I'm quite observant.

She got quiet.

I made no attempt to make conversation, I was talking to myself. Worrying, longing, wondering. It's all a mess of questions up there.

Maybe she's getting bored of me, maybe that's good so it makes it easier to get out of this place. I'm certainly not thinking of Ryan getting home and suddenly loving Dan so much again, or them picking out a wedding cake, or Ryan getting along with Dan's annoying parents, or them snuggling on the couch while Ryan realizes that I'm not the one. What if he thinks I'm trying to move on. I'm not, I swear.

"Brendon," She speaks gently and I look up from my pale hands, my eyes curious. "Are you okay?" She asks and I shrug honestly, biting my lip.

"I'm not very happy." I tell her truthfully, her eyes making me want to spill my guts. She's friendly, I can tell. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be like this on a date." I sigh and look out the window.

Her eyebrows furrow and she pats my hand gently. "It's okay, do whatever you need to do. Just call me when you're ready." She smiles and gets up, swaying out.

That was surprisingly easy.

I sit in the metal chair, my fingers twiddling with my phone. I open his sacred contact again, clicking the message button.

"Come back to me."