Not What it Seems | BTS x Reader | Reverse Harem

Chapter 34 - Pathetic 🔥

"Look Y/N, I'm not going to ask you where you've been or what you're doing." His ruffled hair and wrinkled Gucci shirt signified the amazing night he had without me.

"Tae.." I started to explain, only to be interrupted by my date and his innocent smile.

"We had our 7 minutes," he said, blushing uncontrollably, "but at the end of the day, if you're not ready, you're not ready."

Cupping my face with his palm, Tae waited in case I resisted, and leaned in slowly to kiss my cheek.

"And I'll be here, when you are." Without another word, he slipped into the shower. Tae knew exactly why I was here, and gave me the space I needed to do it.

Heading to Namjoon's room, I tried the door, thankful to find that it wasn't locked.

Jihye isn't here.

I sighed in relief. Entering the room, I was greeted by a half undressed Namjoon taking off his formal wear. Even in this uncomfortable situation, he stirred something within me.

"Dont rub it in." The leader said, taking everything but his boxer's off.

"I'm not." I reassured, I had nothing else to add. It was all self explanatory.

"Jihye went home to her husband, so again.. don't rub it in." He repeated, putting on a white tshirt, the Kaws signature eyes emblazoned on his chest.

"I'm not." I said again.

"Alright, if you're not here to mock me, what are you here to do?" He asked sitting on his bed.

"Well.." I unzipped my uncomfortable dress, and went to his clothes rack, picking a shirt I was familiar with, a shirt I had worn many times before, and put it on. Grabbing a wet wipe from his dispenser, I started to erase the layers of make up off my face. "I just thought it be nice to crash here.. I've had a long night.."

Looking up, I saw Namjoon was confused and a little taken aback by my ordinary request.  Based on our recent history, it was far from ordinary.

"If it's okay with you, of course." I added.

"Oh? O-of course.." the man was flabbergasted. "Umm.. excuse me. Give me a second.."

Before long, the two of us were intertwined on the bed. Falling back into this nest of familiarity, we cuddled and basked in each other's comfort. I breathed him in and felt myself tearing up as I was overwhemled with nostalgia and serendipity.

I missed this. So, so much. I missed this so much it was painful just thinking about everything that had happened. My chest ached as I clung unto him tighter, worried that we were enjoying borrowed time.

There were so many things I wanted to talk to him about, so many questions. But I didn't want to ruin the simplicity of our situation with anything. Because when you think about it, that's why we enjoyed each other so much. It was the silence in this mayhem.

Before long, and just as I feared, our make-believe was interrupted by Namjoon's ringtone.

"Sorry," he shrugged off and went to find his phone.

"Do you have to take it?" An obvious but much needed question.

Wasn't he enjoying this as much as I did? Didn't he miss this?

Doesn't he miss me?

Looking at the screen and caller ID he paused momentarily, the expression on his face the same one he had in the cloak room. Full of conflict and ambivalent.

"It's Jihye," he whispered, just loud enough for me to make out. "I have to."

The last three words seem to have been more of a reminder to himself than for my benefit.

His conversation with Jihye was unclear to me. I could hear Namjoon get more agitated, and the women on the other line was definitely upset. But when Namjoon finally got off the phone, one thing was certain.

"I'm sorry Y/N.." Namjoon was the poster boy for guilt. "I've got to go."

He was infuriating. Here we were, having something we both clearly wanted for so long, only for it to be ripped away. Mere moments after.

"Sunbae, I can't do this anymore." I was stern and unsympathetic. Scurriedly getting off the bed, I removed Namjoon's shirt and hastily put on my original attire.

"Y/N wait, I'm sorry!" His voice slightly raised.

"Do you know what 'I'm sorry' means, sunbae?" I was facing the rapper now, and even though I wasn't nearly as tall as he was, I had the moral high ground.

"It means you're apologetic of what you've done, you'll make amends, and you'll never consciously do it again. Are you telling me, you'll never pick Jihye over me ever again?"

He was speechless and could barely look me in the eyes.

"Or that you'll never push me aside, the instant Jihye 'needs' you?"

"That's not fair, Y/N." I had definitely hurt him, but I wanted to. Because whether he realised it or not, he was cutting me too. More importantly, he was hurting himself.

"You're pathetic you know that?" I was halfway out the door when I said this, sounding harsher than I did in my head. "But I guess it makes me even more pathetic.."

Slamming the door in his face, I didn't realise I had been crying. Standing against the door, I took a deep breath and I muttered to myself "Goodbye Namjoon."

-

One more time for the people in the back?

#angst !

Hope you guys enjoyed that and the emotional turmoil 😅 Thank you for waiting patiently for this chapter. I really appreciate each and everyone of you and if I could shake your hands I would. The song I find fits the theme and ambiance of the song so enjoy. As always please don't forget to vote, comment and share!

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