bts angst

min yoongi ;; needy

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"Yoongi?" I knocked on the door.

No response.

I sighed and stood outside the room for moment, wondering if I should go in or not. I mustered up the courage and decided that Yoongi needed me.

I slowly opened the door and was met the depressing aura of Yoongi's studio. I felt my heart shatter knowing that he had locked himself up in his studio for the past weeks.

Ever since Namjoon's death.

FLASHBACK

I giggled as Yoongi gave me butterfly kisses on my stomach. I ruffled his hair as we laid together on the bed. (Not in a sexual way !! >;( )

"I love you." I cupped his cheeks and felt heat slowly rise in my hands signaling Yoongi blushing. He held out his gummy smile.

"I love you more."

We closed our eyes and were drifting to sleep but the vibration and ringtone of Yoongi's phone went off. He groaned as he got off our position and ended our cuddle session.

I watched as he answered his phone. I nervously bit my lip as he progressively started to get more quiet. All I could see was his back. I could barely make his whisper as he ended the call. As he turned around, I could see the heartbreak in his eyes as they were filled with tears.

I immediately jumped out of bed and ran to him. "Baby what's wrong?" I could feel myself panicking as he hugged me tight and sobbed against my neck.

"He's dead."

"Who?"

"Namjoon."

END OF FLASHBACK

"Baby are you alright?
Do you need anything?" All I got in response was a hum.

I wrapped my arms around Yoongi as he sat in his chair and stared at the computer. Working. As always.

"Not now please y/n." I shut my eyes and sighed in disappointment. I removed my arms from Yoongi.

"Yoongi, i know Namjoon's death has been hard on you. It's been hard on all of us. But just please remember to take care of yourself, and I'm always here for yo-"

"Okay I got it y/n." Yoongi snapped at me, cutting me short of my words.

"I'm here for you."
"He's in a better place now."
"It's best if you try to move on and accept it."

Yoongi mocked me and I stood there speechless and a little frightened as I never really seen him snap at me like this.

He'd been quiet from the past weeks and it seems now he's finally releasing all of it out.

"Just go home. I don't want you here."
His cold tone pierced at my heart as I just silently nodded and made my way out of his studio. I completely understood that Yoongi was just extremely upset over Namjoon's death but his words still hurt me.

Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry-

Fuck too late. I felt my vision go blurry as I hurried home. As soon as I entered the front door, I collapsed on the floor and sobbed.

I was so needy for Yoongi. Emotionally and physically.

I tried being understanding know that the death of someone who he was so close to had an huge impact on him but in doing this, I was also losing myself.

I tried being strong despite all the times Yoongi would push me away. The nights where he would come home at around 12 am and wouldn't even bother to come near my side of the bed.

The times where I bit my tongue when he would give me one word answers or would completely ignore me.

It felt like I was living in a house with a stranger.

I managed to calm myself after what seemed like forever and get ready to go to bed. I wasn't surprised when I checked my phone that it was late at night and I had no notifications for Yoongi. It was typically these days.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek. And soon those tears turned into a sob as I laid alone in bed wondering if I was ever enough.

I'm sorry that I wasn't enough Yoongi.

That was the last thought I had before I drifted off to sleep without the comfort of my boyfriend.

Y/n

HIHIIG

OMGOMG THIS BOOK IS ALMOST AT 100K READS THATS SO UNREAL TO ME

ty guys sm for all the support on this trAshy book ;c ur comments make laugh and feel inspired to make even more.

also is anyone noticing the conNECTIONS IM PUTTING?? Remember a few chapters back I said I would create a short series of where they all connected?? this is iT !!