I Dont Date Blondes

C H A P T E R F I F T Y - S I X

At this realisation my heart was thumping against the thundering rain.

Noah watched and waited for me to say something but I had nothing. Even I thought I was a liar.

"Would it be so bad to like me back?" He questioned quietly almost like he was scared to ask it.

"No Noah. You're funny, thoughtful and a wonderful person. Anyone would be lucky to have you" I explained quietly,

"But not you" he said trying to catch my teary gaze, "and that's all I want".

I shook my head, "I'm sorry".

Anger grew on his face as he called, "Sorry for who? Me because you won't admit it or you because you're too scared to admit it"

I shivered slightly at the rain caused my clothes to cling to me like a second skin as I shook my head, "I'm sorry about all that's happened between us, it shouldn't have happened".

I couldn't remove the tight feeling in my chest at saying this but my confusion was only hurting him and I couldn't do that. I couldn't hurt him, I didn't want to hurt him.

"It shouldn't have happened? It shouldn't have happened!" He cried in anger, "you're trying to find a way to avoid how you feel, find an excuse, it won't work, you know why?" I continued to shake my head and shake my head.

"because you wanted it as much as me"

"Please Noah" I said shaking my head and crying without stoping, "I can taste it in the way you kiss me. I can see it when you look at me and I could feel it last night. Admit it goddamn it!"

My mind and my heart rivalled between each other at his words. Was the simple answer to agree or to disagree?

My heart thumped in my chest at the sight of Noah but my head always screamed to run.

I asked myself: could I be with Noah? And the answer was that I couldn't trust myself to not hurt him again.

I lov..cared for him too much to do that.

"I don't like you Noah!" I cried unable to look at him, "I could never like you". I knew my entire being was drenched from head to toe in the rain but his words made my heart ache and I wanted the pain to stop, I wanted my confusion to stop.

He chuckled deeply whilst brushing back his wet hair through his fingers. "You don't like me?" He asked continuing to smile. "You could never like me?" He yelled stepping closer.

"Look at me" he declared while grabbing ahold of my chin. I kept my head down attempting to look anywhere but at him.

"Dammit Juliet look at me!" He growled. At his outburst my eyes rose to his brooding brown ones.

"Now tell me you don't like me without looking away. Make me believe you" he whispered. He looked beaten. Defeated. He looked almost..in pain? I swallowed any courage I could find, ready to speak and stared back at his intense gaze with determination.

"I.."

I couldn't finish. I couldn't even really start. Both of us were lost in each other's stare and it became too long of a time..

There was no going back now..

I knew he told me to tell him I didn't like him but every cell in my body was reeling and screaming at me to 'kiss him'.

Then our lips met hungrily, our heavy breaths were now indistinguishably one as we stood in the rain. "I love you" I whispered between the breathing and devouring of his lips.

"I love you so fucking much Noah"