Not Such a Mistress

Anger

Zarah

"Jason come here." I said where he could hear me. It's been a week since everything happened and today Dallas wanted to talk to him.

"Yes, ma?" He came around the corner and stopped when he saw Dallas sitting at the table. "Why is he here?"

"I want to talk to you." Dallas said and Jason looked at me.

"Mama..."  I raised an eyebrow.

"Just listen to him, Jason." I said cutting him off.

"I have nothing to listen to. He lied to me for sixteen years. Why you let him do this to me? Why would you even keep it from me?" He fired question after questions as I stared at him.

"I told her too." Dallas said before I could respond. "Jason there's a lot you don't know."

"I'm sure it is, seeing as though you have another family. Speaking of them, do they even know about me and mom?"

"No, they don't." Dallas said with a sigh.

"So we're not important?" Jason said sarcastically.

"Jason sit down and listen." I said.

"Listen to him tell more lies. I'll pass. Can I go back up and finish my homework?"

"No, you will sit and listen to your father Devon." I said getting upset because I called him by his middle name. He sat down and looked at the floor.

"Jason I know you're mad at me, but please understand that I was very young and dumb when I met your mom. She was different from the other women and very mature for her age. I wish I could change the past, but I can't and I wouldn't because it got me another son. I love you Jason and you are very important to me. Don't you ever think you're not. I love you and your mom very much. I just knew I would hurt her and without even trying I did." I left the kitchen and let them continue.

I went to Andre's room and he was sitting at his computer and laptop station looking at some of his cases. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.

"How's it going down there?" He asked as I moved to the side sitting slightly on his desk.

"Jason is so stubborn. I had to call him by his middle name for him to actually listen. I knew this was going to happen." He looked up at me.

"You left because?" He asked slowly.

"I wanted to give them time alone. I don't think I can deal with that anymore. Jason is my son and it hurts me to see him hurt the way he is." Andre rubbed my back as I wiped my eyes.

"Don't cry Zay."

"I'm sorry I just thought this would be him getting the backlash. But I'm the one who just got out of a hospital." Andre sighed.

"I talked to him about that." I shook my head wiping my eyes with my thumb. He stood up giving me a hug.

"Dre, can we please stop talking about it?" He nodded. "Thank you for being here." I said with my face in his chest.

"Anything for you Zarah. You know that." It was quiet until I heard yelling and I ran out the room and down the stairs with Andre right behind me.

"I hate you!" I grabbed Jason and he pushed me on the floor.

"Boy what the hell is wrong with you?!" Andre yelled as he grabbed Jason. Dallas helped me off the floor.

"I'm sorry mama." I shook my head.

"This is all your fault Dallas. Leave before you cause so more issues."  I pulled away from him and went up to my room and slammed my door.

My life was spinning out of control. My son was going through something I tried to keep him away from. I heard more yelling downstairs as sat there. I sighed and fell on my back. I heard someone knock on my door.

"Go away."

"Mama I'm sorry please open the door." I sighed and got up. I opened the door and he was standing there with his head down.

"Do we need to put you back in anger management class?" He shook his head no. "Come here." I opened my arms and he wrapped his arms around me. I felt him break down in my arms.

"I'm so, so sorry mama, but it's going to take me a while to trust him again." I rubbed his back.

"It's okay sweetie. I understand, but you can't let your anger get the best of you."

"I know mom I'm sorry." He let go.

"Go ahead to your room ok." He nodded and walked away. Andre came up the stairs and looked at me.

"Zarah he needs to go back to his anger management class or get another dosage for his meds. Just so he won't snap on you or anybody else." I sighed.

"I know that. I'll call them tomorrow."

"You ok?" He said touching my arm.

"I'm fine."

"You take your medicine?" I sighed.

"Yes, Dre."

"Somebody got to take care of you sometime." He smiled.

"Thanks. Did Dallas leave?"

"Yeah." I sighed. "Go ahead to bed."

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Ok." He gave me a hug and kiss on my forehead. "Night."

"Goodnight." I closed my door and got in the bed.

I had fallen asleep soon as my head hit the pillow. I felt my bed dip and sat and looked at the clock that read 4:54. I looked and saw Jason.

"Jason, what's the matter?" He hasn't slept with me since he was eight years old.

"I can't sleep." I rubbed his head and he got closer to me. "I want to go back to anger management classes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Ok sweetie go to sleep." I kissed his forehead and we fell asleep.