The Games We Play

Regrets

~Kate~

I woke up to soft lips uniting with mine, I smile feeling amazing.

"That's the most peaceful I've ever seen you sleep..." Edwards calm voice startles me, making me roll to my other side to face him. The sheets wrapped around waist, covering up his presumably nude body as it curled next to mine. My eyes linger over his figure, until they get to his eyes. All at once, panic rushes over me as I notice him lean in to kiss me. The memories of last night flooding through my head like a recap. What have I done?

"Stop." I push him off of me, my face flushes with embarrassment, feeling both manipulated and used.

You're doing what the Joker did, using your charm too. Penguins words replay in my mind, remembering my horrible decision to try to follow Edward into the back room. Then in that very same office...How dare I let myself be so foolish. I was the one supposed to be using him, figuring out what was going on. My feelings weren't supposed to be real.

"I thought I told you I couldn't.. "My voice quietly replies, knowing this was not Edward's fault. How had I let myself become so drunk? The question had a simple answer, paranoia. My mind started to spiral out of control when I sat alone at that table for all of eternity, wondering if he would come back. Paranoia that hit when the he stepped out with Oswald, fearing my lie was over. Perhaps I started to become reckless before that, when I couldn't take my eyes off of Sabrina. I had met the waitress before. She knew me, under yet a different name. Her and Edward's flirting was annoying, made me concern, and a little jealous, that I was just a pawn in their game. The worry made one polar plunge turn into two, or three. By the time Edward came back things were already moving too fast.

"Hmm?" Edward mutters in confusion as he plays with my hair.

"At Arkham, I told you I have a boyfriend. I shouldn't have done this."

Edward shrugs, "You didn't seem to have a problem with it last night."

He was right. A guilty look flashes in my eyes as I throw a pillow at him, needing some excuse to why I had just opened up to this criminal like he was my prince charming. "You idiot I was drunk!"

Edward shoots me a look, as if I knew better than to call him an idiot. He stands up, sliding his boxers on. "Funny, I thought last night you said alcohol brings a person's true self forward."

I pause, watching him pour a cup of coffee. Did I say that? That definitely sounds like something I would have said, I know I have told Grayson that before. My stomach turns, making me feel uneasy. Of course Edward uses my own words against me. Usually I found him attractive when he did such, but instead I feel cornered, like a cat without an escape. The guilt, the idea that Richard could be desperately out looking for me while I was getting cozy with some criminal. All of it made me sick.

"You did this. You manipulated me into thinking last night was a dream so I wake up and see its a nightmare!" I frown, desperately trying not to believe that I willingly wanted to sleep with a criminal, who I know is using me.

Edward rolled his eyes, still not taking her seriously. He sits down by her side, placing his coffee on the table next to her. "Riddle me this, why aren't your dreams about this so called boyfriend of yours?" Before I can speak up he puts a finger up, stopping me. "In Arkham why didn't you have a single visitor the few months I've known you, or even a letter. Even now, why have you not asked me to take you back to this supposive boyfriend when we escaped?"

I didn't know what to say. A know it all smile resurfaces on his face, feeling he proved his point. Edward wraps his arms around me.

"There's your issue Perplexity. As I've said before, he is not real." His eyes gazed down at me with pity. His charm starts to enchant me again, as I fall silent. Maybe he is what I want. Edward kisses my neck softly, "Come on Perplexity...don't be so hard on yourself. You let yourself relax for one night, there's nothing wrong with that."