broken love. ➳ j.jk

08

Since the day I hurted him, he totally ignores me, not even a glance, he doesn't even greet me when we meet in the agency, nothing.
I don't blame him.
But it must be so, it should've be like that from the beginning.

Sometimes I watch him secretly. And it hurts not to be able to say anything to him.

My life is always the same,
I try to distract myself by focusing on training and lessons.
I'm making big progress.
I have to improve, I'm here to become an artist, an actress.
Not to suffer from love ... right?

In the month-end rankings of trainees, where they award points for the most deserving trainees, I'm almost always the first everytime.
At this rate, it won't be long before I can finally make my debut. I hope.

[...]

Months go by, and Yeonjun will finally debut in a group of 5 members, the group is called TXT, I'm really happy for them. They deserve it after all the work they have done. Who would have imagined that he would become my sunbae?

《YEEOONNJUUUN !!!》 I went towards him running and I jumped on him.

《Congratulations!!! I'm so proud and happy for you !!》 he and his group had just finished recording their first television program. They immediately returned to the agency to celebrate.

《Y/N !! Hey calm calm, thank you》 he said laughing 《now that I am your sunbae, you owe me respect》 he looked at me with an amused look 《tsk, you wish!》 I said pulling a light punch to his arm.
《Let's go celebrate! ~》 he took my arm and we went to the others.

[...] A couple of days later

《Y/n! Bang-Pdnim asks for you, go to his office, please》 I was eating lunch the with other trainees while Bang's assistant called me.

I snorted.

He didn't want to see him.

I finish eating and head to his office, on the way I see a group of people coming out of his office, they come towards me.
They were some members of BTS, including Jungkook.
My heart beats wildly.
He is so beautiful...
He looks happy, he laughs and makes jokes with Jimin and Taehyung.

His eyes darken as soon as he sees me, and he suddenly shuts himself up.
They pass by me, I greet them with a little bow.
Thet reciprocate the greeting, except for Jungkook, he totally ignores me, as always.
The other two don't seem very surprised by his action.

I arrive at the office and knock on the door.
I hear Bang's voice tell me to enter.

《Hi, Bang-PdNim》I bow.

《Come and sit》 I sit in front of him, in the same chair as last time.

《I called you because we have to talk about something》 I nod, waiting for him to continue.

《It's about your debut》 I straighten my back, ready to listen.

《We are ... having problems ... some are against making you debut》 I remain stunned for a moment 《against? why?》 Bang sighs heavily 《because you are a girl and many in the agency still prefer that there are only boys.》

I widen my eyes, I felt so shocked. How can they be so unfair?

《And so ...?》 I'm afraid to hear the answer.

《We have postpone your debut for a while》 I feel the anger pervading my whole body. Why am I treated so differently?

《Can't you do something?》

《You know that I don't decide everything ... now you can continue to work harder and study to impro-》

《Dad!》I interrupt him.

《I'm tired of this situation! Every time you tell me the same thing, wait and improve!》

《Y/n! Don't raise your voice with me! And above all, don't call me dad here! You have to call me like everyone else in the agency!》
He raised his voice, making me jump on my chair.

《Then, when can I call you "dad"?! I'm always here practicing my ass off!》My voice breaks, and I feel that I'm about to burst into tears.

I get up abruptly, I'm sick of everything and everyone. I hear him call me, but I ignore him. I leave his office slamming the door; as soon as I go out I see Namjoon waiting outside.

Did he hear anything?

He looked at me with an unreadable expression, then he just went inside my dad's office. I tried to hold back the tears, and started to walk faster towards my room.

No one knows I'm Bang's daughter.
He is not married, and never has been. I'm the fruit of an adventure he had when he was younger.

A mistake, as my mother said.

A mistake to keep secret and in the dark.

I have always been alone, none of my parents wanted me with them, so for most of my life I spent it studying abroad. Until I decided to come back and be an actress. So I auditioned in my father's agency, without him knowing it.

FLASHBACK.
ONE YEAR AND HALF AGO
Y/N AUDITION FOR BIGHIT.

《Please, number 84, come in》

I entered the room and saw the judges sitting, including my father, concentrating on writing something on a piece of paper.

《Hello! I'm y/sn y/n. I'm here to audition as an actress.》

As soon as I started talking, I saw my father snap his head up, looking at me with a confused look.
His expression turned red of anger, he was lynching me with his gaze. I tried to give force to myself, I must not be intimidated.

《Please, start miss》 one of the judges said to me.

I took a deep breath and I started to act a scene I always loved.Without making a mistake. With the emotion and the maximum commitment that I could put.

As soon as I finish I look at the judges, they seemed amazed.
My father's face softened.

《Great. Have you also prepared a choreography?》 I nod.
I had prepared everything, just in case. I was determined to get into BigHit.

After dancing they made me sing a song, earning the applause of everyone, including my father.

END FLASHBACK

And so I entered as trainee, the only girl to have ever entered after a long time.

I arrived in my room, on this part of the dorm it's always empty, I'm the only one who sleeps here.

I wanted to be alone and not see anyone for today, so I just studied a bit until it was evening and I went to sleep.