Adopted By 5SOS

Sleeping Pills

Chapter 47

Clara had a bedroom in her house as she often took in foster kids. She was nice, but she wasn't the boys. As I cried myself to sleep that Sunday night, she didn't come in and bother me because she understood what I was going through. On Monday, I woke up and was welcomed with pancakes that she had made.

"I thought you would like them, your adoptive father said you liked pancakes." Clara said sweetly smiling at me.

"Oh, thank you Clara." I said sitting down on the chair.

She brought over a plate of two pancakes and some strawberries in a small bowl. The T.V. was on and I sat there watching it while eating my pancakes. It was TMZ and they were talking about something that Justin Bieber had posted on his Instagram. I went to take a sip of the orange juice that Clara had set down for me when I heard Ashton's name on the show and almost choked on my drink.

"Looks like Ashton Irwin, the drummer of 5 Seconds of Summer, has got himself in a rough patch. Seen leaving a building last night looking like he has had a rough day as well as leaving the law offices the other day with his adopted daughter, Valerie. An insider says it regards the custody of Valerie Irwin but we have no further information. The rest of the band refuses to talk to anyone, as seen of them walking to their car last night." The guy said while showing pictures and videos from the past couple of days including the one of me and Calum leaving the sandwich place.

I continued watching and crying at the same time when suddenly Clara turned the T.V. off.

"No! Turn it back on!" I yelled at her.

"You know you shouldn't be watching that." She said crossing her arms at me.

"Stop treating me like a child! You don't know who I am! You aren't Ashton and you never will be!" I cried and ran to my room and slammed the door shut.

I locked it quickly and sunk down and cried. I pulled out my phone and looked at Twitter. My name was trending and I clicked it. It was full of tweets of people saying they were glad Ash was losing custody of me and that I should just kill myself so they didn't have to go through a whole legal battle.

"You see even the fans thought so all along." They said but sounded different. I couldn't figure it out.

I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked down at my phone and saw all of the text messages from Ashton. I unlocked my door and walked to the bathroom and locked myself in there. I turned the knob in the shower, letting the hot water fall down as I walked out and looked at myself again in the mirror. The tear stained face, the scarred up arms, the worthless image of me in the mirror. I'm nothing. I will always be nothing.

"You fucking whore." They said but their voice was still different.

"You're meaningless." With each word, their voice got higher and more familiar.

"Just end it already, slit your wrists, hang yourself, put a gun to your head." They said faintly but it wasn't all just them.

I finally figured out the voice.

"No one will ever love you." Valerie said to me.

I ripped open the medicine cabinet behind the mirror and found sleeping pills. I unscrewed it and took all of them. Pulling out my phone, I texted Ashton 'I love you. I'm sorry'. I looked at myself in the fogged up mirror one more time before everything went hazy and dark with only the sound of the water running and the bottle falling on the floor.