If he were to rise again - A Merthur story [COMPLETED]

Please dont hate me - Chapter 11

**ARTHUR'S POV**

**three days later**

"We need to call an ambulance. They will take him away and we can have a funeral but he can't stay here."I was pacing Merlin's living room up and down as Sam stood in the corner.

"He isn't going anywhere!" I yell in response, stopping in my tracks to face him.

"He is DEAD!" Sam goes silent at what he just said and looks at his feet, "soon he will start to rot and decay. He needs to be... sorted." He mumbles quietly, gesturing random movements with his hands.

I flop onto the couch and lay my head in my hands, Sam sighs, sits down next to me and puts a gentle hand on my back.

"Look I just want what's best for him." I lift my head up and smile sadly at the man opposite

"I know..." I sigh and uncontrollably burst into tears, Sam pulls me into a surprisingly strong hug for his build.

"Shhhh..." he whispers, rubbing a warm circle on my back, until stopping gradually and  starting to move his thumb up and down slowly.

He rests his lips gently on my head but jumps back as I look up at him.

"I am sorry, I don't know why I did that! I - I don't..."  he starts to panic but then a feeling of loneliness and fear overcomes me, a feeling I have been trying to push away since Merlin died.

I forcefully push my lips on his and he pushes back on mine. I regret it instantly, but I am unable to stop. My fear doesn't cease, it only grows but my loneliness fades slightly with each kiss. It will never truly leave, I know this but I just couldn't bear the pain of losing Merlin alone and Sam knows what I am going through, well, he only lost his best friend and Merlin was truly the love of my life but the boy did have a way of impacting everyone he met.

I am snatched back to reality as Sam speaks,
"Arthur are you sure..." but I just nod my head and force my lips on his.

**the next day**

I have been sleeping on the couch for the past four nights as I have given Merlin the bed. I walk into his room and see him lying in the same spot I had seen him yesterday, blood seeping through his thick bandages, a tear escapes my eye and rolls down my cheek as I see him. He would hate me if he knew what I had done. I walk over to the bed and lie down next to him.
"Sorry..." I whisper, "I am so so sorry." I say between sobbing breaths. I cry into his shirt until I end up falling asleep against his chest.

When I wake up again it is dark out and I can quickly work out that I slept all day. My eyes are thick with sleep and my face is warm despite having been resting on Merlin's cold body.
"Hey." I say, pushing the mattered hair away from his forehead, "I don't want to do this but... I am going to send you away. I - I have been told that it will be best for you. Please don't hate me... please. I screwed up! I know I screwed up! I regret it... I am sorry. Please don't hate me!"

**SAM'S POV**

I allow a single tear to drop from my eye as I hear Arthur talking to Colin. I knew at the time that he didn't want to do anything but we were both so lonely and scared to live without the man we loved (granted in different ways but we loved him none the less). I walk away from the bedroom door quietly in order to stop Arthur from knowing I was eavesdropping.