Notes to Ashton.

Dear Ashton.

Hey its me. your 'sister' even though we are not related in any way.

im gonna be writing notes to you. even though you cant and wont ever see these i still thought it was a good idea.

imma talk to this paper like its you, like you actually listening to everything i say even though your not.

you never do anymore.

i dont know what happened within the few months that we adopted you but something changed. you used to be happy and bright but now its just dull and darkness. i think it has something to do with your past and the reason why we had to adopt you or should i say became your legal guardians

and i wish i could help you. but you push me away or either scream at me to leave you alone.

even though your 20 year old stubborn self wont accept my help im still gonna try to give it to you.

i dont know what im thinking, that your 'sister' who is 18 is gonna actually try to give you the help you need. you just need someone to talk to thats all.

but you wont talk to me. you will talk to Luke though. like nothing is wrong. like your life is perfect but once you step into the house and set eyes on your surroundings you get dull and gloomy.

im sorry for what happened to your parents Ashton and i wish i could bring them back for you but i cant. i just wanna see that smile and hear that laugh that you used to produce before.

but i guess thats it for today.

bye Ashton.

-Cameron

I shut the book and sighed, standing up going over to my desk and placed the book on top of a pile of papers that were filled with random lyrics and drawings.

i made my way towards my door but i stopped once i heard small whispers coming from the outside.

"i cant be here. Amy i love living here and all but i just cant. it doesnt fell the same anymore."

"Ashton, Honey i know and its never gonna feel the same again with your parents gone. but dont worry we are working on becoming Harry's and Lauren's legal guardians as well. it takes time. but before you know it they both will be here with you" i could picture mom wrapping her arms around Ashton and giving him a hug and him returning it back.

i rubbed my face and opened my room door going down the steps and straight into the kitchen knowing that Ashton wasnt even gonna look in my direction.

he never does anymore.

to him im just a piece of dust flying by.

i got out a cup and pulled out the Kool Aid from the fridge and poured me a glass.

putting the thing back in the fridge i walked out the kitchen and headed for my room but was stopped by the sound of Luke coming through the door being greeted by Ashton.

i knew i couldnt say hi because Ashton was standing there and i didnt wanna take away his friend, even though i introduced them.

i was going back up to my room but was stopped as Luke came over to me and pulled me into a hug. i made sure i didnt spill any of the drink all over the place as i gladly wrapped my arms around his torso and burried my head in his chest, his smell instantly hitting my nose.

"i missed you Cameron" he mumbled and i nodded my head telling him i missed him too.

"go be with Ashton i know thats why your here" i said walking away.

"dont do anything stupid Cam"

"no promises" i whispered to myself and closed my room door going over to my bed setting the drink down on the nightstand.

i laid down and listened to the voices of the two boys as they sat downstairs as they talked away like tomorrow wasnt coming.

well for some people its not.

i got under the covers closing my eyes trying to go to sleep but it didnt work.

it never worked.

i dont know why but Ashton is always on my mind.

seeing him look so sad and like the world is coming to and end really hurts me and i have no idea why.

i sighed knowing i wasnt gonna be getting any sleep anytime soon and grabbed the book off the desk and began writing.