Them (completed)

Chapter 19: Him

Chapter 19: Him

The stuff I couldn't express with Shanay just came out in therapy today. It felt right to get it all off my chest. I want to be able to tell Shay all the secrets I've been hiding but I also just want to keep her happy. I don’t want to bring her down and I don’t want to hurt her. I know if I tell her what I told Dr. Willis Shay would not be happy. I was also being selfish, I don’t want to lose Shay. If I tell Shay every little secret she would hate me and she would really leave me. Dr. Willis advised me to talk to Shay. Dr. Willis seems to think if Shay really loves me, she'll forgive me. I don't believe that but maybe Dr. Willis could have a point.

I wasn't going to talk to her anytime soon after what happen in Dr. Willis' office. The way she acted in Dr. Willis office today was beyond my knowledge. Shay was angry with Dr. Willis as if Dr. Willis had done something to her. At the moment I didn’t want to face Shay so I stopped past Logan place. We hadn’t talked besides at work. Work was getting so busy with the preparation for New York. Speaking of preparations for the New York office I couldn’t tell my wife that I had to move to New York either. I was still trying to think of other ways I could stay in Maryland and still control the New York office. Logan and I both were against putting newbie’s as head of the law firms. It was Smith and Howard. That means it’s our law firm and the people hired worked for us not the other way around.

I know Shay very well and she did not want to leave Maryland. Maryland is all she knows.

Sadly, Logan wasn’t the one to answer my knock Tonya was. I don’t dislike her and in fact I forgave her a long time ago for what happen to Renee. She also knows about Shay's miscarriage and she hasn't opened her mouth about it yet. However, I did not like what she was doing to Logan. She was burning him over and over again. It wasn’t fair to Logan.

“Logan here,” I asked.

“No he’s at the office,” she informed me. I was noticing he was at the office a lot. “I know you don’t like me but can you make sure Logan is okay,” she asked innocently.

I didn’t know whether to believe she really cared or not. This woman lied to him for years and put him through more shit than anyone else. The shit she did to Logan was heartless and cruel. I wish I could understand what the hell was going on in her head.

“No he’s not okay.” Tonya narrowed her eye’s at me. “You are his problem. You cheat on him with who knows how many men and now your back claiming you’re pregnant. Do yourself a favor and make sure that baby is his because if it’s not it’ll kill him.”

“I love Logan.” I laughed at her. She didn’t love him enough to stay faithful. “I do and you’re just mad because of what happened to Renee.”

I was starting to realize she was as selfish as they come. She would use the death of my daughter to get back at me. That was low. This had nothing to do with the death of my daughter. It was about the pain she was causing Logan and she couldn't understand. She would never get it.

“This has nothing to do with that. I’m looking out for my friend. The fact that you would even bring up my daughter in that matter means you only think about yourself. What you want is all that matters. You can’t really love someone until you start thinking about someone other than yourself.”

Tonya tried to say more to me but I just left. I didn’t have time to argue with her and I didn’t feel like hearing her problems either. She didn’t matter to me. I left her standing in the doorway and headed back to the office.

Logan was behind his desk looking at his computer screen when I walked in. I took a seat in the leather chair adjacent to him.

“Why is Tonya at your place?” I asked.

If that baby was his he could still take care of it without being with the mother. I think the best thing for him is to stop seeing her.

“She sort of lives there,” he informed me. My eyebrows went sky high and I knew he saw the worried expression on my face. “She has no place to go.”

She got fired from the police department because of her drug habit. I’m not sure she ever found another job.

“Is that why you’ve be at the office a lot lately?” I asked.

“Yea. I’m not going to leave her on the street. She’s pregnant and I do care about her. She has no money because she went through the divorce money in two months feeding her drug habit. I’m trying to get help for her and the baby. I’m trying to help her get clean and that's it. I want to have sex with her or be with her romantically.”

I let out a breath when he said that. I was happy to hear him say he didn’t want to be with her but I was starting to wonder why he didn’t want to be with her.

“Why the change of heart?” I asked.

“I can’t take getting hurt again. Plus she’s still lying. I had her followed and she’s still seeing other guys and I don’t know if this baby is mine.” I nodded. “What you doing here. I thought you were off.”

“My wife,” was all I said. “I don’t know how to tell her I have to move to New York.”

“You should tell her sooner than later.”

Logan was right. If she found out later she would be beyond angry. She needs time to think about it.

“Today in Dr. Willis office she went off.” I filled him in on what happen at the therapy session. I did not have to leave anything out because Logan already knows about Shay's miscarriage.

“When we decided to withhold information from your wife I think it was stupid. I know what it feels like to be lied to. However, I don't think Shay can handle the truth. What you do is up to you and I’ll back you 100 as always.” Logan informed me.

I know what we did was wrong and unfair to Shay but I can't lose her. Like Logan said Shay can't handle it.

“You may want to go home and see what’s up with you wife,” Logan ordered.

“Why are women so difficult?” I said with frustration. “All I want to do is make her happy but she’s making it difficult.”

“At least your wife is faithful. I gave Tonya anything and everything she wants and in return I got Syphilis.”

Logan was having a rough time. When he found out about Tonya infidelity this man cried. I have never seen him cry in my life. I’ve known him for over 10 years and he’s always been so strong. I took that strength from him by tell him his wife was cheating on him. He was depressed for months. He’s just starting to get his life back together and here comes Tonya to take it away again.

“Women don’t realize men can hurt just as much as they can. When we love we love with everything. I will never be the same. I will never let another girl get close to.” Logan added.

I know that feeling all too well. Now every girl Logan comes in contact with would have to pay for what Tonya took. Now every girl was going to be a cheater or a liar to him.

“Are you bringing her to the party tomorrow?” I asked.

After everything Tonya has done to him, he still has her back. He will forever be there for her.

“Hell no I’m bring someone else.” I raised my eyebrows. “I know I’ve mention Alexis Battle to you.”

“Yea your childhood friend. I thought you haven’t seen her in like 15 years?”

“I ran into her a week ago. We exchanged numbers and we’ve been messaging off and on. I invited her to the party.”

“Is it serious?” I asked.

“Hell no. I’m not trying to get serious with anyone. As far as I know women are lairs. Alexis and I are just friends,” He informed me.

“I should go see if my wife is still attending.” I said as I stood up.

“See you tomorrow.”