Things are weird.
People I thought were going to be there for me forever are suddenly a million miles away, and my brain seems to always be in a state of panic. Or a state of nothing at all.
It almost feels like the old times, when people started turning against me, and all I had left was a cynical boy with a snarky smile and hazel eyes. Now he's gone too, or at least he's trying to be. I don't think we can ever truly get away from each other.
I've got friends, the good ones few and far between, but at least I've got some. That's more than I had a couple of years ago.
I go out. I run. I walk. I hang out with maybe two people. I'm trying to live a good life.
It feels like something is missing, but I'm having a hard time pinpointing exactly what. Maybe my connection to God? It's ironic, because I'm more plugged into youth groups and churches than ever. Or it could be the lack of boy with hazel eyes and snarky smile in my life. I'd hate myself if it was the latter, though.
He doesn't need me. He doesn't want me. He's made that very clear.
But for some reason, I can't get it into my head that our time is over. That chapter is over, or at least it is for now.
I need to move on, or whatever. I know that. It just sucks ass.
YOU ARE READING
unfinished snippets
RandomLittle things that I think of at random times - more or less an explosion of creativity straight from my brain. Sometimes I have ideas that i can't quite visualize so I put them here. Sometimes it's a snippet of a story I'm workshopping, other times...
