Nothing makes sense right now. I thought I had found someone--it turns out he was just a fluke. I turn around and see the other boy almost in my grasp--but he's looking at someone else. He's always looking at someone else.
So I'm thinking maybe I'll be alone for a while, like I used to be. But the problem is, I'm not sure if I remember how to be alone. Back when I used to be by myself all the time, I had no one. No friends, no family I could talk to, no one.
But now I have people--or at least I thought I did. I... I still do, I have to believe that, but I just have to accept that not everyone can make time for me at every waking moment. That might take some getting used to.
See, when you have no one, and then suddenly you have everyone, you become clingy. Don't get me wrong, at first you're untrusting and it feels like no one could ever love you for who you are, but then after a while when you realize that these people are the real deal, you never want to let them go.
So I pester, and I bug, and I keep asking if you want to hang out this weekend or the next or the next, because I'm so damn scared you're going to leave. I'm scared everyone is going to leave, eventually. And maybe they will. Probably, they will.
God, I hate letting people go. And I hate people letting go of me.
5/6/2018
1:34 am
YOU ARE READING
unfinished snippets
RandomLittle things that I think of at random times - more or less an explosion of creativity straight from my brain. Sometimes I have ideas that i can't quite visualize so I put them here. Sometimes it's a snippet of a story I'm workshopping, other times...
