Crushes

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He's so new. He's so new to the point that I'm full of hope and light again. I'm happy.

This takes me back to the days where I used to be in love with everyone at once and the only people that didn't like it were my supposed friends. I know better now about my friends, but I'm also relearning to go with the flow. I can't have commitment cramping my style.

For now, he seems pretty perfect. He's candid and thoughtful and spiritual and sweet and just... shiny and new. But I know in time he won't be so shiny and new. I'll probably get tired of him at some point, but I have no idea when that will be.

It could be in days, weeks, months or years. Never the less, he'll become dull just like all the others.

But until then, I will enjoy myself. I will talk and smile and laugh and be content having a crush. Because having a crush is a good and warm and comforting feeling--at least the ones without commitment are.

If you add in commitment, suddenly either you're in a relationship, or your life takes a turn for the worse. Rejection goes hand in hand with commitment, or lack there of.

Crushes are good. And I'm good. For now, at least.

2/27/18

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