unfinished snippets

I'm over it

I hate that you make me feel like this. Lonely. Unwanted. Unworthy. In fact, I hate that you make me feel anything at all, because honestly you shouldn't.

You were just supposed to be a crush, something to take my mind off the serious stuff like the aching in my chest or my constant headaches. So how come you became so much more?

I guess it's my fault. I fall in love too easily. But maybe you made it too easy. Gave me too many sideways glances. Asked about me when I was gone when you should've just turned away like everyone else in my life. Looked at me like I was the only thing you cared about when really your heart belongs to someone else.

I bet she's a brunette. I bet she has smooth skin and wears red lipstick. Or perhaps she doesn't wear makeup at all? I hear the natural look is in.

I bet she thinks you're everything. I bet she doesn't challenge you; takes your word as law.

You know, too. You know that you're chipping away a piece of my heart every time you mention her and how great she is. What is it then? Do you enjoy watching me squirm under your friends' scrutinizing glares? Because you've told them all, haven't you? Told them all how much I like you.

Well, since you seem to hold all the secrets around here, I'll give you one more to pass around.

I'm over it.

I'm over feeling inadequate. I'm over feeling like the second choice. And I'm over being something for you to toy with.

Because I don't need you. And I never did.

1:21 am