unfinished snippets

too much

I'm usually not one to regret things. But I regret this. I regret you.
Sure, maybe I learned a few things while we were "together," but everything that came after? That's coming after? It wasn't worth it.
Because it will take you years to get over me, I can feel it. It's not even that I'm that remarkable, or entrancing, it's just that you're a bleeding heart, but you don't even realize it.
And I'm sorry to say we never would have worked out anyway. Everyone knew it. Everyone but you.
It will take you forever to forget my face, my laugh, the way my eyes crinkle when I smile--forever. Those images are burned into your brain, just like they are into mine.
Trust me, I know what it's like to be so hopelessly in love with someone... that everything about them is permanently ingrained into your being. I know it all too well.
God, we're so much alike. Too much alike.
Besides the fact that we're too similar, there's also the little detail that I never got over my first love. I'm not sure if I ever will. I think some part of me will always love him, no matter how far away I am from him.
It sucks, but that's just how it goes sometimes, I guess. To be honest, I'm forever hoping that he'll love me back one day.
The parts of me that still love him are also still waiting for him.
I'm sure if I'll ever be able to fix that. I'm also not sure if it's something I want to fix.
I'm done with you for a while, I think. I just need... space. A lot of space. Time to get back what I lost when I was with you. To heal.
I'm not sure what it is, or how I can possibly fill myself up again to start feeling like I was before you, but I need this. I need time away from you.
Because you're everywhere. I see you in my safe places, where I'm supposed to be able to spill the dark parts of myself. I see you in the hostile environments, where you add to my anxiety with every glance and almost touch.
So just stop, okay? It's all... too much. You're too much. You always have been.