unfinished snippets

He'd like it here

He'd like it here. It's noisy but calm—serious but fun—just like him. The mountains are beautiful this time of year; the hills are green and the trees are lush... but all I can think about are his eyes.

They have a way of cutting through a person, seeing past them. Oh, how I miss how he'd look at me. It was like to him, I was a puzzle he needed to figure out, something to crack. He never could though. I always had too many secrets. Still do.

We play games. We go on walks. Everything I see reminds me of him and the time we spent together. It all makes me want to fall apart. I'm trying my best to hold myself together, not to collapse, but it's so hard when he won't even look at me.

I go swimming. Instantly, I get flashbacks of pool days from when we were younger. I try to push them out, but thoughts of him are like poison to my brain and heart.

I see the sun set over the endless groves of sequoia trees and sugar pines. I wish I was home, safe and surrounded in his arms. I'm not even sure what it would feel like, I just know that I want to be there.

He visits me in my dreams, his voice lacing vivid visions of us. He tells me I look beautiful tonight. He says he's loved me his whole life. I blush.

Do you know how it feels to love someone this much? To want them this much? It's like an all-consuming fire, destroying everything in its path. Trust me, I know a thing or two about fires.

It's red hot and angry. It's cool and comforting. It's warm and familiar. It's everything—and simultaneously nothing—at once. He is everything and nothing at once.