This is new for me. The touchy-feely stuff; I'm not used to it. Especially when all the touchy-feely stuff is coming from an actual person instead of me just making it all up in my head.
This time, he's here, telling me I'm a work of art and that I'm the sweetest girl he's ever met, but does he really mean it? Because people always tell me things, and they never, ever, mean them.
He keeps trying to reassure me that he likes me, but now I'm wondering, is he trying to convince me... or himself? Maybe it's all just too much all at once; I mean, nothing is even happening, but there's... feelings. I can't deal with feelings.
I used to be the queen of not feeling anything, and I used to be okay with it. What happened to me? Because now, I can't express those feelings, no matter how hard I try. And I'm trying, alright? It's just difficult when he's over there spilling every detail of his life and I am here, doing my best to keep my head above water.
He wants me to talk about that stuff with him... but I just can't. That's the stuff I keep to myself. Partly because I don't want to bother people with my stupid feelings, and partly because I'm not comfortable barfing up every thought I've ever had.
Maybe I'm being to harsh. Maybe I'm just looking for things to ruin this and poke holes in it. Part of me knows that's at least a little true. But maybe I'm also just being realistic.
3/13/2018
VOCÊ ESTÁ LENDO
unfinished snippets
DiversosLittle things that I think of at random times - more or less an explosion of creativity straight from my brain. Sometimes I have ideas that i can't quite visualize so I put them here. Sometimes it's a snippet of a story I'm workshopping, other times...
