My question is: is this better? Is feeling every emotion better than feeling none at all? Do I miss the numbness?
Because maybe... the void was better than... this. This hurricane of hormones, this mixed potion of emotion. I feel like I'm going to burst. I don't think I can handle this.
I remember when I couldn't feel anything at all. It felt like I was floating through life, mindlessly completing tasks and making generic jokes. I didn't laugh as much.
I would just blurt things. I had no filter, because after all, was I even there? Was I even present in the moment? Was the moment even real?
And then this. This feels like vomiting pepto bismol on the bathroom floor at midnight, and blasting music in my own ears until they bleed. It's overwhelming... I have no idea what to do.
It feels hopeless. Everything hurts. I don't know how to make it stop. It feels like it never will.
Tears gather in my eyes and I wonder if it's always been this way, or if this was recent. I can't remember anyways.
BINABASA MO ANG
unfinished snippets
RandomLittle things that I think of at random times - more or less an explosion of creativity straight from my brain. Sometimes I have ideas that i can't quite visualize so I put them here. Sometimes it's a snippet of a story I'm workshopping, other times...
