THE DEAD ZONE | COMPLETED

Twenty - Two |

Honestly, Twenty - one and Twenty - two go together which is why their short. But whatever, I promised double update so TA-DA. 

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Twenty – Two |

I remember when my mom died – her voice had already faded from my mind, and she felt like a stranger to me now; but I remember the pain. It hurt. It hurt so bad that even the lingering memories of her brought on millions of what ifs? What if she didn't die? What if she hadn't gotten sick – if she hadn't been bitten? Then I remember those thoughts: at the time I promised myself I couldn't possibly survive without her.

Even farther back I remember the death of my grandfather. Long before the world crumpled away. I had been close to my grandfather – he and my grandmother used to watch me when mom and dad were at work. I think he started out with an infection on his arm – I couldn't remember. But I do remember that day my grandmother walked into my bedroom. She had told me the news so calmly, but I could feel the hurt pulsing off her in waves. And in the wake of his death the same thoughts followed.

I couldn't possibly live without him in my life. I didn't want to live with that pain in my heart. Even as little as I was I maybe couldn't understand the extent of also wanting to be dead to see him again, but I could understand the pain. It burns so hot with such aggression I am never sure if I'm in a fit of pure rage, or overcome with enteral sadness.

And I was angry, I was angry I wasn't there. I was angry I hadn't visited him in the hospital – but most of all I was angry that I was so young. That, he'd never see what I grew into, that he'd never know how smart I was, or even how stupid I could be.

With my mom, although only ten years had passed, I can count the memories I still have of her on two hands. But, that's ok I think. Because those little orbs of memories I hold so tightly in my heart they will never crack or fracture.

And as I grow, that pain of losing those I love becomes stronger. Especially those I had promised to protect. I had promised Cici I wouldn't lose her and I did. I had failed her, and I had failed myself. And now, all I was left with was pain.

The darkness cleared slowly. My mind floated back to me, something wet was on my face and I didn't doubt it to be hot, sticky tears. My heart was beating angrily, and slowly, slowly I twitched my fingers.

"Cerci," I moaned softly.

There was a soft humming of some kind of engine, along with the smell of worn out leather. I peeled open my eyes to look down at the car seat. I was in the back of a car? I looked up towards the driver seat. My hopes brightened – Cici? The driver's head turned and my hopes melted away. It as Cici it was the shaved headed stranger.

"Where's Cici?" My voice cracked from lack of water, and the after math of sobbing.

His silvery eyes met mine in the mirror – they were grim and he didn't answer.

"Where's Cerci?" I screamed, my hands fumbling with my seat belt. It had some sort of lock on it – I couldn't get it off. I didn't know how, it had been ten years. No one would dare use a car, they were too loud and could fail easily. Not to mention finding gas would be a pain in its own. But I didn't care about my safety now, I only cared about her.

"Where is she?" I kept shrieking, reaching towards him.

"I left her there. She was dead, and I couldn't carry you both out," he spoke softly, it was a wonder how he kept the cigarette in his mouth.

I froze as hit words hit me. He left her there. In the house, surrounded by zoms. Not only couldn't I protect her, but I couldn't even give her a burial. Her body was left like – like trash. Anger boiled in my veins louder than my sorrow.