Love Lies

Chapter 24: James Buchanan Barnes

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

Tasha never planned on falling for Bucky Barnes when she initially spent time with him. She simply thought she was doing the right thing. In the back of her mind she had decided she would tell Steve about his whereabouts, she just wasn't sure how to go about that conversation. Ever since the fall of shield, Steve had focussed solely on finding Bucky. Sam, being his new right hand man, had begun to help and it was only a matter of time before he asked for her help too.

Usually Tasha would have already offered her help, but in her current predicament she wasn't sure how to go about it. She knew if she betrayed James that he would disappear on her, and if she was entirely honest with herself, she didn't want to lose him either. In the short time they had been together, she found herself enjoying his presence, and he was extremely attractive — though she would never admit that fact out loud.

Tasha had decided she had spent enough time with Bucky to help him venture into the world again. The first stop, the museum. It typically was vacant for the most part and she couldn't think of a better place for James to learn of his past. Tasha spotted a fancy pair of sunglasses and a leather jacket, while Bucky hid his metal arm using a glove and a long sleeved shirt.

Tasha tended to call James Soldier Boy, simply to bother him, but she found herself nearly slipping the nickname Bucky out whenever she wanted his attention. Steve always called him by that nickname, and even in her own mind she would have to correct herself— though over time Tasha just used the two interchangeably.

"Are you sure this is safe?" Bucky asked quietly as the two walked into the entrance of the museum.

"Totally." Tasha smiled. "It's never busy since everyone is out for dinner right now, plus if I see anyone I happen to know, it'll be like you're invisible."

Tasha could sense Bucky was nervous as he held his hands in his pockets. She sighed, wrapping her arm around his. He was taken aback, looking at her with raised eyebrows. "Intimacy makes people turn a blind eye. Now we just look like every other couple."

Slowly Bucky allowed himself to relax, Tasha's arm offering him a warmth he hadn't felt before. "For someone not from earth you seem to know a lot."

"I've had lots of time to learn." Tasha replied with a shrug, tugging on his arm towards the display she had been looking for. "For instance, I know more about you than you do. But this is a good start—" She pointed forwards, causing Bucky to follow her finger. The two stood in silence as he read the excerpts on his life before his tragic death.

"It's a lot to take in." She said after a few minutes. "I'd like to say it'll get easier with time, but I'm not sure it will."

When the two walked back towards their apartment, Bucky eventually spoke up for the first time since he read about his life.

"What about you?"

"What about me?" Tasha asked in confusion, her arm still wrapped around his.

"You haven't told me much about yourself."

"You haven't asked." Tasha teased with a small smile. "It's complicated."

"Out of us two I think I have you beat." Bucky smiled slightly as he glanced at her. "It can't be that bad."

As they entered the apartment Tasha laughed. "Oh, how wrong you are, mortal."

"Then tell me. You say you know so much about me, I think it's only fair I know as much about you."

"You know, I may actually miss when you silently hated me." Tasha teased as she let go of his arm, setting her jacket down before sitting on the couch. "Fine. What would you like to know?"

"You said you're a god..." Bucky sat on the opposite end of the couch, facing her.

"Goddess but yes."

"What's your background? Your family?"

Tasha cringed slightly at the mention, but sighed. "I don't know my birth parents. I am from Asgard, as you are aware, and I am a goddess, and the princess... I am also the rightful heir of the throne, making me the future queen."

Tasha could tell all of this confused Bucky and she couldn't help but laugh. "I told you, it's complicated."

"No, I think I understand... How did you get adopted by royalty?"

"The king and his two sons found me alone in the forest a very long time ago. They brought me into their family, and once we found my parents dead they officially adopted me..."

"You keep saying all of this like it was forever ago, but you're only a kid."

"A kid?!" Tasha laughed, shaking her head. "Steve says the exact same thing all the time. I have not been a child in a very long time."

"What does that even mean?!" Bucky asked exasperated. "How old are you?"

"In a few days I will be 1,999." Tasha confessed as if it was a simple fact.

"You're... you're 1,998?"

Tasha nodded. "Like I said, I haven't been a child in a very long time..."

Bucky leaned back into the couch. "Why do you look so young?"

"We age differently than mortals. We are not immortal — we can be killed and we will grow old and die eventually... but we have immortality in the sense that we live longer than you. A lifetime for you is but a fleeting moment for me. Though as of recent time has been slow..." She trailed off.

"What do you mean?"

"It's... I lost people... two of the people most important to me." She admitted as she looked down at her hands which rested in her lap.

"What happened?" Bucky inquired, moving so he was slightly closer to her.

"I... I lost my mother and my lover in the span of ten hours..." She looked up at him, trying to keep her eyes empty of tears which threatened to spill.

"I'm... I'm sorry." Bucky said honestly, a frown on his face. "I shouldn't have asked."

"It's alright. I just — I haven't spoken upon it in a while... um, that's why I came to earth. I was lost and I couldn't face going home to my father and I couldn't face my brother so I made myself a life here..."

"Hey." Tasha was taken aback when she felt Bucky's hand rest on her shoulder. Slowly, she looked up at him, nearly drowning in his beautiful eyes. "I know I haven't been the most... open to you, but I appreciate you being here and helping me when I've done nothing to deserve it. Thank you, Tasha."

Tasha smiled, taken aback by his praise but gladly accepting it as she wrapped her arms around him; pulling Bucky into a tight hug. She immediately realized what she was doing and went to pull back and apologize, but Bucky held her to him. She laughed sadly against his chest, trying to ignore the warmth he made her feel.

"Thanks, Bucky— James. Haha, Sorry, I'm so used to Steve calling you that."

He smiled the slightest bit as he let her go. "You can call me whatever you want."

"What about asshole?" She teased, smirking up at him.

He chuckled. "Preferably not, princess."

Tasha groaned in annoyance. "Please tell me you're not going to call me that all the time now."

This made Bucky smirked. "Why, is that a problem, princess?"

"James Buchanan Barnes!"

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