I Don't Think You'll Ever Wanna Love Me

Chapter Six

Rae's Point of View

12:43AM. I can't sleep. I decided to just get up and go for a walk. San Diego wasn't bad. I got on a big t-shirt and left the door unlocked. I saw Vic's light was still on. I walked to the house next to mine. It used to be mine. And now, it's for rent. I got on my knees. "I miss you Mom, I'm so sorry you left so soon..." I shut my eyes for a moment and turned around. "HOLY SHIT!" I screamed. "Shh, calm down. It's only me." It was Vic. I started to walk away. "Wait, Rae." I stopped. "What?" Then, I turned around. "Let's go for a ride instead of a walk. It's getting cold and it's really dark out." I had my arms folded as I looked at him. "What makes you think I'm coming?" 

"Get in the car or I'm just following you until you do." I smirked for a second, but it faded. I looked at the sky, it was pretty, filled with stars. "Are you coming?" He said, opening the passenger door. I half-smiled, walking over to his car. I slipped in, and he got in on the other side. He started to drive when he broke the silence. "So you never told me... what is on your arms?" I breathed in forgetting to breathe out. Then I started coughing. "Breathe, Rae!" He laughed a little. i calmed down. "So what is it?" I started an awkward silence. "You can tell me, I won't be mad." "Marks..." 

"Marks of what?" "Marks, yaknow... made..." "You can say what kind. I don't care. As long as its not what I'm thinking." I closed my eyes and thought of what to say. "vic, I used to be depressed. I couldn't help it." He stopped the car which almost made me smash my head. I breathed heavily as he pushed me back. "Are you alright? Sorry I did that... I just didn't want to hear what I heard..." He told me. I didn't even look at him. "I'm sorry." I murmured. "Well don't be, as long as you don't now." I turned to him as my eyes rolled down, looking at my arms, back at the road ahead. "Why now? What's going on?" 

"Would you believe me if I told you some are cause of you?" I gulped. And I looked over back at him. He was starstruck and he couldn't believe. "I can believe you... But it's hard." I leaned back. "I know it makes you feel like shit. But it happened. You were such an asshole, I just went home and started all over. i thought it stopped." I frowned. "I'm sorry... I didn't know." I rubbed my eye. "It-it-it's alright,, Vic." I shivered. He slid off his hoodie. "Take it."  I shook and started to shiver again. "Thanks." He was driving again, I'm not sure where we were going. "Are we still friends even though I cut myself?" I asked in a soft voice. He looked over at me on a red light and replied, "I can't hate you for being you. I still think you're beautiful." 

That made me blush. I let out a big yawn and put my head down on his shoulder. "Don't fall asleep, you have to go back home." I sighed. I checked my new phone, it was already 2:03. "Geez, when are we going back though?" I asked. "Want to now/?" "No! Can we get something to eat? I'm actually starving." I told him. He nodded. "Well, you haven't been eating much. Where to?" We went to 7-Eleven, I got sour patch kids and a powerade. "That's all?" He laughed. I nodded. "I barely eat candy and drink sports drinks. So, yes, this is it." I put it on the counter. He payed and we walked out. 

I started to fall asleep. Everytime I did, Vic would yell my name. "No sleeping!" He laughed. But soon enough, I felt myself fall asleep. Sleeping felt so good right now, especially in Vic's car. I heard the car door open, but when it did, I didn't pay attention. It was Vic picking me up and shutting the door, I felt his heavy heartbeat against his cheat. I smirked and pretended to sleep still. He opened the door silently, shutting it, brought me upstiars and tucked me in. He turned the volume of the TV down a little, kissing my forehead. "Good night, Rae." He started to walk away as he stared. "I know you're awake." He laughed. 

I opened my eyes. "Night Vic."