I Don't Think You'll Ever Wanna Love Me

Chapter Thirty One

"Why are we going to your house?" He asked me. "Because I need clothes to change into. Duh." I told him, wiping a tear from my eye. I sniffled pulling into my driveway. They were all still at the party. "You can come in if you want..." I murmured, leaning back in the seat and looking at him. I puffed to myself and opened my door. I unlocked his door and he got out quietly. I locked my doors and unlocked the front door, opening it to a dark living room. I switched the lights on, hearing Austin shut the door behind me. I climbed up the stairs to my room and opened the door, turning that light on too. "Nice room." He leaned on the doorway as I threw outfits into a Vans backpack I've had for years. I threw a few shoes in there and my blanket and my teddy bear.

"A teddy bear?" He smiled a little. I looked up at him and said, "What?" "It's cute, you sleep with a teddy bear still." I shrugged. "Long story." I whispered.

I had to change my clothes, so I walked into the bathroom with clothes. I looked in the mirror and frowned, I pulled the dress down and looked at all my scars, where the hell did they come from?  My cuts were fading. I wiped a small tear and opened the cabinet. I grabbed a new razor and just did it again. No pain. Two of the cuts made a V, and the rest started to bleed a lot, I put bandadges over them all.

I sighed, slipped my Man Overboard crewneck on, with grey legging type sweats and black ugg slippers with grey fur. My hair was still curled, I brushed my teeth and took my tooth brush with me. I washed off the makeup and I sighed again. I'll be back sooner or later. 

I zipped up my bag and didn't bother to bring make-up or my straightners or anything. I wrote a note and left it under Vic's pillow. For now, I'd just stay with Austin. Even though I haven't gotten to spend that much time with Vic. I threw my bag into the backseat of my car and shut the door, opening mine. "Are you gonna be here for Christmas?" He asked. I nodded. "Of course. I'm not gonna over-stay my welcome at your-" "Rae," He cut me off. "You can stay as long as you need. Your my best friend. If you don't want to be home, you don't have to be. You always have me right behind you." I smirked a little and said, "Thanks Austin." 

I started the car and drove in reverse out of the driveway, pulling out. I drove down the road and said, "You wanna get something to eat or something?" He shrugged. "Sure, why not." I drove into the drive-thru for McDonalds. I just got a milkshake and french fries, he got a burger with fries and a soda. Soon enough we were back at his house. I parked in front of his house, I grabbed my bag and my fries and drink and walked behind him inside his house. We both sat on the couch and put our food on the table. It was 10pm. Vic kept texting me, but all I did was put my phone down and get more upset about it. "Cheer up, Rae." He started. "At least he's trying to talk to you. He could have gotten angry about it and stuff."

I shrugged and ate my last french fry. I sipped a little of my milkshake and sat there thinking about how broken I was. From the moment I met these boys, to right now. I haven't been always happy. I sighed outloud when Austin looked at me and said, "What's up?" I pulled my legs up and wrapped my arms around them. "I feel bad." I stuck my head between my knees and looked at him. "I'm always sad." I shrugged. "But I can't help it." He didn't frown, but he didn't say anything. He looked forward and then back at me. "You can't be happy if you surround yourself with sadness." I leaned back and sighed. My legs fell off the couch back into the sitting position. I felt my eyes get tired when I kept hearing Austin say, "Don't go to sleep." He would let out a silly laugh afterwards, but I ended up falling asleep anyways.

Austin's Point of View

"And of course you fall asleep." I whispered. I gently took her head off of my shoulder and rested it on the couch, as I picked her up and carried her to my bed. I layed her down with her own blanket and her teddy bear that ended up wrapped up in her arms. She slept so peacefully it was nice. I shut the door halfway and walked out in the living room and layed on the couch. Poor girl, I wish I could help Rae. I felt my phone buzz as I grabbed it out of my pocket. Vic texted asking if she was okay.