I Don't Think You'll Ever Wanna Love Me

Chapter Thirty

December 17th, 2013

Vic's POV

We didn't have a tour until January. I sat on my bed and looked at the wall next to me. That entire wall was full of photos of Rae. I wasn't as sad as I was last year, but I was still really upset. I still didn't go to parties, I went by myself on camping trips sometimes to get away or had friends over and just jammed out, that's all. I haven't been to the hospital since the day it happened. I stood up and walked across the hall to Rae's room, which we were planning on re-doing if she ever woke up. God, I missed her. The smell of her rose perfume still lingered around the room and the house. 

I didn't want her to wake up and forget about who I was. Because that would be me having to give up. I wanted her to wake up and still be upset with me, I don't care if she was upset, I wanted her to keep her memory. The doctors said she should still have all of her memory, but they couldn't really determine that unless she was awake. I saw a razor blade on her shelf and I threw it in the trash. I got really upset about that. Why would she hurt herself again? I sighed and sat down on her bed. I had her bear in my room that she had always held at night. It smelled like her, it reminded me of her. I just really miss her.

Rae's Point of View

"I'm done..." I whispered to Vic. "I'm gonna kill myself." He looked at me and had tears in his eyes. "Rae, please, don't do this to yourself! I can't live without you... Rae." I shook my head. This was it, it'll be done in a few seconds. I gulped as he said, "Don't go..." And I did, once I did, I saw my life flash through my eyes. I felt someone shaking me. 

"Rae! Wake up!"

Wake up?

"Please, don't leave! Don't abandon me! Wake up!"

Wake up...

"RAE!"

Wake up!

Wake up.

"I'M AWAKE!" I was panting and freaking out when I leaned up and screamed. "I'M AWAKE! I'M AWAKE! I'M AWAKE!"

Vic's Point of View

"You alright?" I heard a voice. I turned around to Mike. "Yeah... I'm okay... I miss her though." I was touching all of her things, when Mike sighed. "I gotta tell you something." He took me out of Rae's room as we walked into his room. "It's about Rae." He started. I sat down on his bed. "She's not dead, is she?" He shook his head. "We didn't want to tell you, but, Ra'e been living  on her own in NYC for the past 3 months." I looked at him, like he had three heads. "W-wha-" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Vic, she's alive. But she hasn't spoken to any of us, except Tony. Once in awhile." I stood up and turned around. "So that's it? She's gone again?" I spoke. "And you guys didn't tell me? Dude, you're my BROTHER!" I slammed his door shut and walked into my room. I texted her. 

Rae, you need to come home.

And I sent it. Fuck everyone right now. Everyone lied to me. I heard my phone buzz.

I am home.

I shook my head. I missed her way too much. 

Rae, I mean come back to my house. Please... I'm miserable without you. Please, please come back...

That's when my door opened and I saw her. "I am home. I told you." My eyes brightened, and my face got hot. "Rae..." She closed the door behind her and leaned against it. She bit her lip and smiled a little bit. I stood up and put my hand on the door. "I do remember that you're not my boyfriend..." She murmured. "But I knew you were telling the truth..." Her eyes met mine as we faced each others lips. I leaned in and kissed her. That was it. That was the missing piece, suddenly, my mood sparked up. I felt her arms wrap around my neck as I put my hands on her waist. It was like we were in paradise,