If They Had Lived

Chapter 10

I'm laying on green grass. I'm in a meadow somewhere. I look around without standing or sitting up and see that all around me is sky and grass. No trees, no buildings, no hills, no mountains. I sit there for who knows how long, just feeling the light breeze on my face as the clouds pass by lazily overhead.

Two figures make their way to me. I smile as I recognise the dark heads of my children stepping out in front of me. I hold my arms out to embrace them, waiting for them to bend down and lean into my arms. Chase frowns as they both hold their ground. I'm confused. "Come here you two! Mommy wants to hold you." I wiggle my fingers as my arms remain outstretched. Myna looks me in the eyes as she frowns. "We don't want you to hold us. We don't want the blood of innocents on our bodies. We don't want the blood on a killer's stained hands to come off on us."

"And we don't want a mommy like you," Chase announces as he steps nearer to me. Myna nods as she says, "You're a murderer." I feel the tears come as they berate me. I speak softly, "I had to. I had to make it out, had to make it with Cato. You two wouldn't be here." I say, almost pleadingly. Myna scoffs, "Better that then to have a mommy like you." Chase nods in agreement. "Murderer!" He yells out. The twins begin speaking at the same time, their voices gradually getting louder and louder.

"You killed people to make it out. You don't deserve to live yourself. You're a killer. A cold-blooded, filthy, rotten piece of District Two scum. We would rather never have been born than to have someone like you as our mother!" The tears are pouring down my face. I know I don't deserve to be here, don't deserve to be alive. I know I'm scum. I've taken so many people's innocent lives. But this, the rejection of my children, is by far the worst thing.

Chase pulls a long, curved, and cruel-looking sword out of nowhere and hands it to his sister. Myna frowns at me as she holds it. "Muderers can't keep living!" She yells as she lifts the weapon above her tiny head before plunging it downward. I watch in horror as it comes down upon my heart, my screams echoing around the meadow.

I wake up from the nightmare, sitting straight up in bed. Surprisingly, Cato is still asleep. Wasn't I screaming my head off like ususal? Or was that also all in my head? I lay back down under the covers. I rest my head on the back of Cato's bare shoulder.

He feels the movement because before long, and before I can fall back asleep, his body is turning to face me. I look up at him, silent. "Nightmares again?" He asks me softly. I nod and wrap my arms around his large waist. Cato does the same, his large hands holding my hips, holding me to him, but only just. I look up at him, wanting to kiss him before I fall asleep. I stretch my body out, not letting him out of my grasp, and lean in to kiss his lips. Cato tilts my head down gently and kisses the top of my head instead.