Long Way Home (A Carl Grimes Fanfic)

41: What Now?

I did what Brian asked, Lewis D'Amico was not even less than a quarter of a mile away from me, dying. And I felt nothing.

As I stand in Brian's office, my eyes observing his every movement, I hear faint footsteps in the back ground. That seemed to be getting louder and louder, and there was a lot of them.

The door slams open, and in the doorway stands Carl, Rick's sheriff hat swooping down over his eyes, his facial expression was dull and lifeless, and the scratches engraved on his face, stained red, matched the colour of his eyes, filled with fury.

"Lauren." Carl gasps, finally understanding what he had just walked in to.

"What?" I sternly respond, not making any eye contact with him.

"Do we have a problem here?" Merle says, the blade in place of his hand pressed against the hinges of the door, as he stood behind Carl.

"There's more of them, Martinez, Brian. Look around Woodbury."

"I don't take orders from you." Brian spits at me.

"Now." I shout, and Martinez drags him away into the distance.

"What are you doing?!" Carl exclaims. "You'll get them killed!"

"Oh." I say, picking up my walkie talkie and contacting Martinez. "I don't want them dead, maybe a bullet in the leg to stun them, I want to see them face to face."

"Happy?" I say to Carl, and he remains silent.

His eyes squint as I see him clenching his teeth tightly, his eyes becoming red of anger but I shake it off.

Merle pushes over a chair and I sit, crossing my legs and arms.

"How's life?" I ask, laughing slightly at Carl who seemed a bit caught up with Merle.

He didn't respond.

"Oh sit, please." Merle says, violently kicking over a chair for Carl.

Carl sits, and his body sits opposite mine and his facial expression shows distraught but most of all, regret.

"What now?" I ask.

"What do you mean?" He asks.

"Why? What did I do?" I say.

"You want the truth?"

I nod, fiddling with my fingers in the palm of my hands, as I feel my heart suddenly drop.

"You were crazy. But I still loved you. You scared me. But I still loved you. You scared all of us and put us in an unbearable situation. But I still loved you. I still love you. I never wanted you to go, in the heat of the moment I lost it. And if I knew you'd go to the Governor I would never have let this happen, Lauren-"

"You didn't want me going to the Governor because.." I ask, taking deep breathes.

"Because I know he'd make you into a monster and that wasn't the girl I'd fallen in love with."

"Merle get out." I speak.

"No I'm not leaving you alone with him!"

"Just fucking go!" I shout, as Merle stamps out.

The door slams shut, and it was once again just me and Carl.

"Was all of that true?" I ask softly, compassion in my voice.

He nods.

"What have I done?" I say, sighing into my hands.

The Governor returns and the door slams open, Sophia, Carol, Maggie, Rick, Daryl, Glenn, Judith..they were thrown into the room.

"Now..how are we making them pay?" He asks.

And in the moment, I knew I'd made a terrible mistake.