Behind The Scenes: Book Three || Taejin

XIII: Lights Off

Jin...

Jinnie...

Seokjin...

Kim Seokjin...

About ten days had passed since Taehyung last kissed his oldest hyung at the New Year's Eve. Now, as the rehearsals for the fourth muster became more and more demanding, Tae became more and more tired and wanting more and more therapy. However, Jin seemed to doing completely fine without him and Tae had started to feel annoyed over that fact. At this point he had had no issues admiting that he was developing feelings for his hyung. Feelings he shouldn't have. Specially not for Seokjin.

He had been incredibly foolish to believe that all the affection they were showing each other would lead to nothing. Upon starting to feel a form of jealousy that, until this point, had been reserved for Jungkook only, Taehyung decided to take a little break and think things through. Breaks, however, were usually not given to them. Specially not when they were so busy doing photoshoots, promotions and rehearsing for the *Happy Ever After fourth muster. That is why, one good night, after having returned from a very exhausting rehearsal, Taehyung had put his earphones on and started to think about what exactly was going on.

He was feeling tired and his eyelids became heavier by the second, still he had stayed up until really early in the morning thinking of one person and one person only. Kim Seokjin. After reminiscing on all the therapy sessions they had shared and a lot of the moments where he might've felt something in the past, Taehyung came to a scary conclusion. He was starting to like Jin.

Admitting his feelings to himself had been really hard. Specially because he felt like he was being unfaithful to Jungkook, although they were not together. Why did he cared about staying loyal who wasn't his? He was not sure. Still, the one thing he couldn't deny was that if having feelings for someone else meant disloyalty, then he sure is a cheater. He had tried to erase those feelings with no success. If anything they grew stronger the more he tried to push them away.

At the end, he had decided to embrace them, but just for himself. He knew Jin had no feelings for him and he knew that for Jin he was nothing more than a distraction. Tae himself had not intended to be nothing but that, but now he was doubting and he felt afraid of it. Liking Jungkook, fully knowing that the maknae was head over heels for someone else had been really hard at times. So how come he made the same mistake and developed feelings for a guy who was also head over heels for someone else? Tae felt quite idiotic.

He wished it could happen like it had been for Jimin and Hoseok, who by now had been dating for a while. Tae had found out about their relationship in a rather suprising way. Neither Hoseok nor Jimin had actually denied it and instead, they had just asked for V to keep the secret until they were both ready to talk about it. He agreed mainly because the pair had bought his silence with dinner at a Korean BBQ. Why couldn't it be like this for him? To like someone who liked him back...now, he would be left with feelings for both the youngest and the oldest members of the team with no chance at all of ever being together. Great!

"Taehyung! Focus! Focus! Focus!" He heard the performance director yelling over the loud music that echoed in the practice room. Apparently he was not even ready to start the choreography section of *Pied Piper, while the rest of the guys already stood in full formation. He ran towards his spot and as soon as the beat started, he danced almost with no energy or grace. They had been practicing for hours and both his body and mind were tired. Not to mention the pain that had started to form in his heart  due to his latest thoughts.

"Awesome! You are free to go, guys! Tomorrow we'll start at seven, so sleep early!" The director said as he walked towards the control panel to pause the music. Tae shook his feet in an effort of liberating his tense leg muscles. He saw as the others also stretched, slowly walking out of the room and to the main entrance where the driver awaited to take them home.