Not What it Seems | BTS x Reader | Reverse Harem

Chapter 27 - We Aren't Friends

My mind raced back and replayed the look of anguish on Namjoon's face that night. The night he told me, that at least in that regard, I was slightly higher than his first love. The woman I could not ever compete with.

"Why did Bang PD want to see you?"

"He was just checking in on me," I lied. "And to see if I was going to the gala.."

"Oh, okay.. Speaking of which.. who.. who are you going with?" Namjoon tripped over the question, knowing full well the pandora box that it led to.

"Rule number one, no asking about the other's dating lives."

"Good question," I sighed thinking about how long ago it had been since we set those rules. It felt like a lifetime ago. "I honestly don't know."

The heavy air clung onto my body as the silence cloaked over us.

"What.. umm.. what about you?" I retorted, trying to fill the void. For a split second, I thought that it was as difficult for him to ask this as it was for me. But it really wasn't. He had no idea who I was thinking of going with, so it was a valid question. But for me, I knew with certainty what the answer was going to be long before I asked. I was just too afraid of the answer. "Who are you going with?"

"I hadn't thought about it actually.." Namjoon went quiet before suddenly perking up. "Hey, maybe if u dont have a date I was thinking that we could go together?"

"Bullshit. You're going with Jihye aren't you?" I wasn't going to fall for this charming crap again. I reminded myself of the times where he would come, hat in hand, asking for some compassion when he had issues with Jihye. I knew this was the same. It must be. I didn't know what it was, just that something wasn't right between them.

"You were the one that wanted to keep things between us private.." continuing, I wasn't going to let him talk me into this one. There were a million reasons for me to not go with him, but there was just one for me to want to go.".. going to an event together isn't exactly private.. or subtle."

"I'm not going with Jihye."

"Again, bullshit."

"I'm serious," he said matter of factly. "Jihye's... not someone I can spend the holidays or important dates with."

I had nearly forgotten that she was married. To the same boyfriend she had when she first met BTS no less. The look on Namjoon's face was eye opening. He was smiling when he said his last words, yet I could almost taste the pain in his heart. He was right. As much as he cared for this woman, he would never be able to publicly show it. Not as long as she wasn't his. And in that moment, just a little bit, I felt for him. Him and all the hurt he was carrying.

"I'm pretty sure she's going with her husband anways, PDnim invited her." Namjoon looked away, trying to suppress his overwhelming emotions.

"So what you're saying is.. I'm your second choice?" I knew that wasn't what he meant, but that's what it sounded like to me.

"What? No-"

"If that's the case, no thanks..." pausing before saying the last word as sarcastically as possible. ".. 'friend'."

"Thats not the case at all!!" Namjoon was getting frustrated, and his tone showed. "Why do you always have to-"

"What?! Why do I always have to be an inconvenience to you?!" I snapped back, not having the patience to deal with any more of this messy situation.

"And you know what? I wouldn't even be an inconvenience to you, if you didn't invite me into your life in the first place."

I was right. He knew it, I knew it, we both knew it. You know how people always say 'girls are always right'? How we never want to admit it when we're wrong just so we can win an argument? Well, when I saw the look on Namjoon's face, I didn't want to be right. Because even though what I said was the cold hard truth, there were no winners here. He was hurt by someone he cared about, and I ended a perfectly cordial relationship with a twisted knife. But there was no going back now. It was too late.