Blood Stains and Burn Marks

Chapter 9

The days go by so slow. But the nights are even worse. Maybe because in the night, there's nothing stopping my thoughts from break through the wall hidden inside my head.

Whenever they begin to form inside my mind I think of Tate. Of his soft touch. His gentle words. His kind heart. His daring eyes. I think of all the things we could be. The memories we could make. And it calms me down. I've been clean for 14 days now. It's not long, but I'm proud of myself for holding on so long. Tate's happy. Everyday he brings me one cupcake from the cafeteria. He even gets them to write the number of days I've been clean on it. I don't go to the cafeteria anymore, but that doesn't stop Tate from asking every morning. I think he already knows the answer before he asks it, but he still does just in case. I've started to keep a diary. Mrs. Clark thinks it will do me the world of good since I've stopped talking to her. I look up as I hear the door open. It's Tate.

"Hey." He smiles. If I had a penny for the amount of times Tate smiles in one day I'd be rich. For such a sad place, he sure keeps his optimism. I, on the other hand have never been a optimist person.

"Hi." I say as I continue writing.

"What are you writing about?" He asks walking over to me.

"Uh...not much." He sits down and hands me a cupcake that says '14 days'. It's a sweet gesture but a little much. He's acting like me being clean is the only reason that his world spins around. I give him a short smile and I'm back to writing.

"Ugh, you can't do that?"

"Do what?"

"Give me a short smile. A smile like that is too beautiful to not be noticed longer by the world."

"Tate it's only us in the room."

"So?"

"So...how's that the world?" He takes a deep breath and looks down at his hands.

"Well...you've always been my world." I feel my heart ache inside my chest. This overwhelming happiness is something I can barely contain. He cups my face in his hands. I lean in towards him and he pulls my face closer to his. And in that moment our lips meet. I pull away first, looking down at the bed sheets.

"Wow." Tate's voice once loud, now soft and quiet. I place my fingers to my lips. They still tingle with adrenaline. "You don't know how long I've waited to feel your lips upon mine. And I've spent so many nights imaging the feeling I would get once we kissed. And no imagination could ever amount to the feeling I feel right now. No imagination could ever compare to the feeling I feel when I'm with you." Minutes pass before I look at him again. He grabs my hands in his. "Devena Winters, I love you. With all my heart. I have since the day I first saw you. You're the most beautifulest girl I've ever laid my eyes on. And it was a privilege to have kissed you this very night. And I do understand if you don't feel the same, but I want you to know one thing. I love you no matter what. No matter how bad you get, or how good. I'll be here for you through it all, no matter what." My heart drops.

"Tate...you can't." The words fall out of my mouth like bricks. Heavy and hallow. Tate's too good of a person and I'll only end up destroying him. And I'll never be able to forgive myself if I do.

"And why ever not?"

"Because...because I'll ruin you."

"Devena, it would be a privilege to be ruined by you."

***

Tate and I have gotten a lot closer since we kissed. Instead of just sitting on my bed, he lays down beside me and intertwines my fingers with his. Sometimes late at night I'll hear him jump down from his bunk, crawl into mine and wrap his arms around me. I always pretend I'm asleep. Whenever I wake up though he's gone. Some how they've let Tate stay with me instead of moving him to the guy's side. It's strange but I'm not complaining. I like the feeling of his body pressed against mine. It makes me feel something I haven't felt in a long time. Safe. Because I know as long as he's there he won't let anyone hurt me.

I decied to get up since it's almost 9. I get out of my bunk and hit Tate's.

"Good morning sleepy head." No answer. "Tate?" No answer. I check his bed, but he's not there. That's strange. Where would he be at 9 in the morning? I throw on some sweat pants and a sweater and decide to go on a search. I first check the cafeteria, but no one there. I check the boy's hallway along with the girl's but Tate isn't there either. Panic starts to set in. What if something happened to him? I start running up and down the halls calling his name. People look at me like I'm crazy but I don't care. I feel salty tears stinging at my eyes but I don't care. I keep calling his name. My voice starts to crack and my vision goes blurry from the tears I'm trying to hold in. I collapse to my knees. Head in my hands, and I cry. Minutes pass before I hear a familiar voice.

"Princess, is that you?" I look up to see a battered Chase. One of his eyes are swelled shut, and he has a gash on the other side of his face, that they stitched up probably not too long ago, because scarlet blood still tickles down his face.

"W-what happened to you?" I stare in horror.

"Oh me? Well you see Princess, it seems like your little boyfriend doesn't like me too much."

"What? No. I know Tate. He wouldn't do that..." My voice trails off.

"Maybe you don't know him after all."