Blood Stains and Burn Marks

Chapter 6

It's Wednesday yet again. And that means another trip to the therapist. Just wonderful. I get out of bed and change into a new shirt. Still a long sleeve. I don't even think I have a t- shirt in my bag.

"Where are you going?" I turn around to see a half asleep Tate looking down at me from the top bunk.

"Therapist." I say with a sarcastic eye roll.

"Oh joy. Want me to come with you?"

"I don't think they'd let you in Tate."

"Alright, I'll be here once you get back." He gives me one of his signature smiles and I blows me a kiss. I don't say anything. Instead I just turn and walk out of the room.

***

I walk into her office and take a sit. 10 minutes past and still Mrs.Clarke isn't there. Half a hour later she stumbles in reeking of vomit and whiskey. She takes her sit across from me and fumbles to pull out her recorder.

"Are-are you okay Mrs.Clarke?" She brushes the hair out of her eyes.

"I'm fine my dear." She again reaches into her purse and pulls out a medication bottle. She untwists the top and pops 3 into her mouth. The smell of vomit fills the air. It makes me want to gag.

"Are you sure you're aloud to take those when you have a patient? You know, since most of us are suicidal and will do anything to die."

"Shhh darling, no one needs to know. Now-now how are you feeling?" Her words are slurred and her eye lids are droopy.

"I'm..." I could easily tell her the truth. Let her know that I'm going crazy. That I know there's no one way I can be fixed. But I think I'll stick to a lie just to make her feel like she's done something right today. "I'm okay."

"I heard you got a...a...a..." You takes a long pause. "What do you call those people who share a room with you?" She tries to get up but she falls back down in her chair.

"A roommate?" I ask puzzled.

"Yeah that's it! A roommate. I heard you got one of those. And I also heard it's a boy. How did you manage to swing that?" She asks with a smirk plastered upon her drunken lips.

"I...I...I didn't. They just told me I was sharing a room with him. I didn't get to make a choice. I never get to make a choice..." My voice trails off.

"Hmm I see. Well Devena, I think that's enough for day. So why don't we wrap up here?"

"What? You've only be here for 10 minutes?"

"It's fine. You're doing fine. Now leave me. I'm going to take a nap." She brushes me off.

"No. You're my therapist. And I'm not leaving until you help me."

"Are you completely stupid Devena? You can't be fixed, no matter how hard I try. You should know that by now."

"What?' A million things run wild inside my head. I know I always believed that, but it hurts to hear someone else believe it too. "But what about all that, 'you're beautiful because you're broken. And I'm going to fix you' shit!?"

"Just a lie sweetheart. I was trying to make you feel like you weren't a total hopeless case." She shrugs her shoulders. I feel every bone catch on fire as if my body were made of embers and her words were a match. I know there's no point yelling at a drunk. They can't understand half the things you throw at them, so instead I get up and walk away in disgust. I almost make it to the doorway when I hear her voice again. "Oh Devena." I turn around to see her laying on the couch, pillow placed comfortable under her head, smug expression on her face. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." She says with a wink.

"By looking at you, that wouldn't be too much." Her jaw drops open and I walk out, slamming the door behind me.

***

I make my way back to my room, and I'm met with a delightful Tate.

"You're back!" He says.

"Yup." I say coldly as I crawl into my bunk.

"What's wrong?" He asks crawling into my bunk too.

"She was suppose to be there at 11:20! She came at 11:50! And to make matters worse she was drunk and reeked of vomit!" I lay down and begin to trace nonsense patterns into the wood. Tate lays beside me.

"Hey, I'm sorry."

"You know what she said to me!? That I was nothing more than just some hopeless case, and that I couldn't be fixed no matter how hard she tries!" My hands ball into fists and I start to slam them against the cold, unforgiving wood.

"Shh stop. Devena stop. She's not worth you're time." Tate grabs my hands and brings them to his chest. "She can't fix you because you don't need to be fixed. Devena, you're not broken." I feel tears escape my eyes but this time I don't wipe them away. "You're beautiful, and don't let some high class drunk tell you any different." I shrug my shoulders and turn away but he pulls me back. "I'm serious. You're absolutely beautiful." I stare into his jade eyes and every wall I've ever put up comes crashing down. My stomach turns to butterflies, my heart beats out of my chest. My mind goes completely blank. All I can think about his is lips placed upon mine. And in that moment, I realize something that scares me more than anything ever has in my life. I am in love with Tate.