Hidden Behind Everything Happy

Yellow Submarine

It was late and I was drunk, and Nicky was floating around the room making sure people could stand up and weren't puking anywhere. Which was sweet, but I'd much rather have him over her with me. I'd told him not to bother but he insisted saying he didn't want my Mother's first impression of him to be a drunk party raving lunatic. 

I was drunk; yet the world seemed a hell of a lot clearer now. If Lukas had thought we were still together then I had cheated on him, which sucked because I had never and could never cheat on anybody knowingly. I thought though, that would explain why it took so long for him to text me once I'd told him I slept with Nicky; he felt betrayed. 

Feeling like  a mega bitch I text him, saying 'sporyk'. Then  I realised just how drunk I was, I couldn't text in my condition. Hm-mm... I thought, which was the best way of getting a message across to him without having to text. I pushed two on speed dial and watched Lukey Pookey appear on his contact name making me laugh hysterically, I'd never even called him that, god knows why I set it as my contact name for him. 

beep beep... 

Would he be pleased to hear my voice? Would he even pick up the phone to this cheating whore- bag? Of course he would, no matter how mad at me he was he knew how much I worried. I felt my heart thudding loudly in my chest.

beep beep... 

Dud duh, Dud duh. 

beep beep... 

Dud duh, Dud duh.

I'm sorry the person you've called is not available at the moment, could you please leave a message after the tone.... beep! 

I scolded myself for thinking he would give a damn whether I was worried or not. Well, he could hardly ignore me if I continually banged on his door at two in the morning, could he? It seemed so logical, and such an all round good plan. Nothing could go wrong. 

(Looking back I'm not all that sure how I managed to forget about the abusive father, and the ex nurse mother who obviously cared about nobody but herself, bringing up a kid with a Dad like that. I resented her hugely for Lukas' pain.

And yes; this is the part where the nineteen year old me will start piping in again. Don't get angry; your the one listening to me blabbering on, and there my memories. So I suggest that you listen carefully to the rest) 

I was staggering down the bus, it was still moving but I'd pressed the button and was approaching my stop. I knew that Lukas would be super pissed at me for turning up this late, but it didn't matter. I couldn't continue being friends and all the time worrying he thought I had cheated on him, when (for the record) I hadn't. 

It stopped, and I flew forwards a couple of feet to the front of the bus in the turbulence of the ride. It was kosher for drunk people to do this, almost like tradition you might say, to fall into the glass at the front of the bus and receive a scornful look from the bus driver. 

I jumped out in my high heels and black mini dress, I must have gone and changed when the little get together had changed to a party. Announcing on the school's page may have been a bit of a disastrous idea, I'd never had a party two ninety six people before. And I had no idea how I was supposed to deal with it. Lucky then, that Nicky was American, and Americans know a thing or two about parties. 

A few whoops and wolf whistles accompanied me as I vacated the bus, I smiled to myself, secretly flattered that even in this state they liked what they saw. (Probably because I was in that state. Sorry, but I'm gonna keep adding my thoughts. Opinions change over time)