Hidden Behind Everything Happy

The Second Letter

I arrived home to the sound of cars travelling past the house, to the smell of the city and the sight of brown, grey and tan. It was beautiful in its own way I suppose, with the dark stones and the flint specks, and the green grass that had little daisies and primroses. The sky was grayish blue today, a similar colour to duck eggs, and to think I'd been flying through that sky less than an hour ago was just plain creepy. 

There was three people waiting for me when I got back. A welcome fit for the queen from my mother, who hugged me with tears in her eyes, I didn't know I meant enough to her to make her cry. It must have been weird spending an entire day and night without me there, knowing I was on the other side of the world. Courtney hugged me jumping up and down like she hadn't seen me in a century. Then she moved back to reveal a very different looking Lukas. 

I nearly jumped he looked so different. He had his head shaved, little pinpricks of hair all that was left of his locks. I let my jaw hang open as I stared, horror painting across my face. What the hell had possesed him to go and do that? I was shocked, and stunned. He didnt bother to talk to me for three weeks but he had the nerve to turn up when I arrived back in the country. 

"Oh Hi" I felt really awkward, I wish that they hadn't brought him here. What was I supposed to do, hug him? Greet him warmly? Shake his hand? I just stood there feeling more like I wanted the floor to eat me up. He seemed to sense my confusion because he coughed, waved and then turned grabbing my suitcase. I watched as he started leading me back to the car. 

Courtney touched my shoulder mouthing the word sorry, and then my mum whispered in my ear. 

"What was that all about, there wasn't even a hint you two were together?" I evil eyed her sideways. 

"Thats because we arent!" I stage whispered sharply making her back up a little bit. She then looked between me and Lukas oddly, like there was something strange. 

"What?" Not even bothering to make my voice quieter, he must know I was still pissed, and still not his girlfriend. He didn't react or turn as I spoke to my mother. I thought almost sadly, that part of him was trying to put of the inevitable by making this sudden appearance. 

"We had an argument" I held my hand up so she wouldnt ask questions, "And before you ask for details, I'm jetlagged and starving, and on both counts I will rip your head of" I saw his shoulders jump slightly, so he'd heard that okay. I wondered what else he'd heard.

"So that's it, one argument and then its over?" I knew my mum wouldn't get it, she never understood my thinking. I just nodded, and sped up a little to get away from her, which subsequently made me considerably closer to Lukas. I literally had no idea what to say...

"You cut your hair?" He didn't bother to look up, he just shrugged saying he had wanted a change. He abruptly shut his mouth when I snapped back 'maybe we all need a change'. 

"If your gonna be a bitch the whole way back then just say, and I'll put my headphones in" I stopped, making Courtney bump into me. She looked shocked at the look on my face, I was ready to seriously give him some attitude so I told Courtney to take the suitcase to the car while I talked to him. 

"What are you doing?" I grabbed his sleeve, and cringed when I remembered what he hided beneath those stupid wristbands. I winced thinking of the pain in my hands when I'd cut them, how could someone inflict that kind of misery upon themselves?

"You cant even bring yourself to look at me can you?" I felt something get choked in the back of my throat. I felt like shit, is that how it seemed? That I couldn't bear to look at him...

"You cant bring yourself to call me, or text back, Facebook, Skype or email me! So I don't see why I should?" I knew that was a typical me response, get angry and stamp my foot. But I breathed out and didn't react badly to his next remark.