Hidden Behind Everything Happy

Alien Invasion

I felt so alone right now. More than I had at any time in my life, more than when my Dad had left when I was three. I could barely move I felt so empty inside, nobody was here for me anymore. And the people who had wanted to be here for me; I had pushed away. 

Riley sent another voice mail saying he cared about me and wanted to help. But, there was no use in helping me. I had a man who claimed to be my father following me and leaving me notes constantly. Somehow he knew my locker number at the local gym, and when I'd opened it three letters had fallen out. Then when I'd gone home there'd been one on the inside of the postbox on the doormat, and one on the inside pocket of my handbag. I had no idea how someone could get so close and mess with my head without me even knowing. 

"Honey, there's another letter for you" My Mum chirped up the stairs without a care in the world. She was going into Manchester over the weekend on some property deal showing how rural could combine with city life. I didn't understand the concept, and I didn't really try because I wasn't interested in anything else apart from these stupid daily letters. Yes, they were being delivered daily. 

"Yeah, its probably something from Nicky again" I was using Nicky as my cover story as I knew Mum would never question our pen-pal friendship, and I knew she had no way of asking Nicky why he was sending me so many letters. I had spoken to Nicky exactly five weeks ago to the day, but with his lack of both mobile connection and Internet he found it hard to keep in contact when I wasn't in his homeland. 

"You two seem to be getting quite friendly, talking everyday and everything" I smiled and removed the letter from her grasp. I didn't want to have it touching her skin, if she knew what was written inside it she would keel over. I knew it. 

"Yeah, he's a good guy. I just don't see him that way" I smiled and raced back up to my room. slamming it shut behind me and collapsing face first into my duvet, like a safety blanket I clung to it and wiped my tears. I didn't want to think of what could be said in the letters. More personal information that nobody knew. 

I opened the letter nervously, the letter coming out easily and the familiar writing showing my name.  I was reading it while crying, the noises coming from my mouth were unintelligible. I could hardly believe that this was happening to me. Wasn't it enough to have my world torn apart once, but now it was happening for the second time. 

"Oh god, I wish that this would just stop!" I tore the letter to ribbons and threw it in the bin. It felt slightly good to destroy something that I didn't understand, but I couldn't erase the words from my mind. 

'The longer you deny your truth, the more your hurting yourself' I threw the bin bag outside the door. It wasn't full and it wasn't ready for the big bin, but I couldn't have it in my room. Far too close for comfort.

This was getting worse. I was too terrified to go out on my own, and I couldn't bring myself to go down to the shop to work. I couldn't be sure nobody was watching me. The idea of helping my Father into a suit without even knowing upset me greatly. 

I curled up in a ball and pretended to be asleep when my Mum wished me good night and left for her business trip. I just lay in bed all night, my head pounding and my heart thudding. I didn't want to go to sleep, I didn't want to dream about the horrors of my Father. 

When my phone rang I began crying again. It was Riley, and I couldn't answer it. My mind was reeling, why couldn't I just pick up the phone and tell him I needed help? Was it pride, or was it because I honestly didn't know who I could trust anymore?

"Please don't ignore me Sophie. Just tell me what's been happening" I cut off the answer machine. I didn't wanna hear him pleading with me. 

I received my eighteenth letter today. I couldn't bear the idea of receiving any more. 

Later that night I went down into the kitchen to get a drink, my throat was dry from crying so much. I then heard a clicking rustling noise, I turned and watched as the letterbox opened, a letter was dropped in and then the letterbox swung shut behind it. 

I ran, and opened that door with a clattering bang. I sprinted out into the road looking up and down the road, the figure who'd sent me my first hand delivered night time letter frightened me. I couldn't help the fear in my voice as I yelled.

"Leave me alone, or I'll make you sorry. I'm not afraid of you!" I ran back inside, then slammed the door locking it. the glass I'd had full of water was broken and shattered on the kitchen door. I then ran about the house like a mad thing and locked all the windows, then I closed the curtains and locked the French doors. 

"Please god, answer the phone!" I grabbed the mobile, rang my top speed dial and waited in terror until I heard the familiar voice. 

"Please come here, now. Please, help me!" I couldn't believe I was screaming down the phone. I needed someone, I didn't want my Mum. I didn't want to write back or receive anymore letters. I just needed to have someone to talk to, someone I could trust.

"I'll be right there, Sophie. Don't do anything stupid!" I just shrunk into a ball on the steps by the door praying that Riley would get here before anything else happened, I didn't want anymore letters or surprise visits. 

It felt like my heart was heavy and my mind about to explode...