He's my light VMIN

Chapter Twenty Two

Tae was in love. He finally had to admit it, even if it was just to himself. He had no idea how it happened, maybe it was spending so much time staring at him, but Tae was now 100% completely and totally in love with Jimin.

And Jimin was very very broken.

Tae was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about his beautiful housemate, and his completely destroyed personality, and he sighed.

He definitely couldn't tell Jimin how he felt, while he was still having panic attacks in the middle of the night and drinking like a sailor when he was by himself. On top of all of that, after the conversation with Kookie and Jin, Tae was now certain that Jimin wasn't eating. Tae frowned as he remembered how it felt having Jimin in his arms this morning. Picking him up was far too easy, it should have been a lot harder when you considered Jimin's height. And once he was in Tae's arms... it was like holding a glass bird, all sharp points but extremely fragile and easily broken.

Tae rolled onto his side, and flung an arm over his eyes, thinking about this morning reminded him of what Jimin said about him being Jimin's "light" – which was scary as sh%t. The thought that Jimin was in the dark and he was the only light.... It was a lot of pressure. What if he failed? What if he wasn't there when Jimin needed him? What if he isn't strong enough for both of them?

He sat up, and put his elbows on his knees, resting his head on his hands. Well, he would just have to get Jimin healthy again, there was no other choice for him.

And the only way Jimin would be healthy is if he admitted he needed help – real help – from a Doctor. Tae sighed again.... His whole heart hurting at the pain Jimin was going through. Maybe it was time to give Jimin a little nudge in the right direction.

A week later, Tae finally had a chance to talk to Jimin alone. The older boy had been home for an hour already. Yoongi was staying at his girlfriend's house (Tae had no idea how that lazy boy had managed to find a normal and completely sane girl who would actually put up with him) and Kookie was shopping with Jin so wouldn't be home for another couple of hours. This was the perfect opportunity. He made two coffees (one black with three sugars for himself, and the other milky white with no sugar for Jimin) and carried them down the hall. As his hands were full he didn't bother knocking on the door, he just used his elbow to push the handle down and kneed the door open.

Jimin was sitting in the middle of his bed, stripped to the waist, his eyes were closed and he was biting his lip. He had stripped off his work shirt earlier (to avoid getting blood on it) and thrown it on the pile on the floor. The first thing Tae noticed was how skinny Jimin was, he'd lost all of his muscle tone, and Tae caught his breathe at how the blondes stomach was caved in and his collar bone and ribs were clearly defined.

The second thing he noticed was the shiny silver blade in Jimin's hand pressed against his forearm, as he sliced through the layers of skin. His arms were criss crossed with old cuts and white scars, from his wrist right up to his shoulders.

"What the actual Fuck Jimin?" Tae yelled, pointing at his right arm, a drop of ruby blood was making it's slow way down his arm and curling around Jimin's little finger.

Jimin didn't move the blade, he opened his eyes and blinked at Tae but didn't seem to really focus on him.

Jimin's closed his eyes again and snapped "You're not really here! Stop It!"

Wait – Jimin didn't think he was real???... how much blood had he lost to think he was hallucinating a full grown Tae?

"Jimin?" Tae moved slowly towards him. "Jimin, honey, what are you doing?" he asked in the calmest voice he could muster. Jimin's arm was bleeding more and more, as he pressed harder on the blade against his arm.

Tears leaked from under his closed eyelids and sighed "You know I would actually pay to have you call me honey in real life."

"Jimin, this is real life" Tae reached out and touched Jimin's face.

Jimin's eyes flew open, and focussed on Tae "What?"