He's my light VMIN

Chapter Ten

Tae shook his shoulders, "Jimin? Jimin are you OK?" The huge Japanese security guard that had come to meet them at the front gate of the secrutiy office towered over him. His face was set in a deep scowl as he watched the boys, ready to step in if the little blonde kid needed him to.

Jimin rolled over and Tae almost flinched, he looked like he had been crying for hours, his face was puffy and covered in grey tear tracks and his cheek was smeared with dried blood. His right hand came up to rub his eyes and Tae saw it was covered in tiny slices and cuts that had all crusted over.

"Jimin we need to clean you up... your hand..." The blonde sat up and looked at his hand like he had never seen it before, turning it from front to back and flexing his fingers. Finally he glanced at Tae before staring at the boys behind him.

Kookie was chewing on his bottom lip, his black hair stood on end like he had been caught in the wind, and his face was flushed. He didn't know where to look, his eyes roamed the room carefully avoiding both the huge security guard who was still glaring at them, and the blonde boy who looked like his whole world had collapsed.

Yoongi was paler than normal, which made him look like a ghost. His ash grey fringe fell over his golden brown eyes which were open so wide that he looked a little like a bird. And he was fidgety, shifting his weight from side to side, playing with his fingers and tapping one of his feet, which was completely unlike him.

Both boys looked so much like two little school boys who had made a mess that Jimin giggled.

Kookie finally looked at him in shock and Jimin laughed. But the laughter took on a high pitched note.... and then he was sobbing. He drew his knees up to his chest and stared at his feet.

"I'm so sorry Tae! You didn't have to come here." Tae was staring at him and Jimin flinched a little. He was sure Tae could see the disaster in his head. "I know you were in the middle of a game"

"What?" Tae's eyebrows drew together and he shook his head "Do you really think that's important right now Jimin?"

"Oh God – I'm so stupid." He took a deep breath and concentrated on speaking as clearly as he could "Look Tae - Please don't tell anyone about this... " Shit the frown was getting worse, his nose was starting to crinkle, he must have really pissed him off this time. "I know I'm fucked up, but I really need them to ....not.... know... you know.... Please Tae...."

The thoughts in his head started flashing him images of his workmates and the people around him.

All of them were laughing at him, pointing. In his head he was trying to escape, trying to find one person who could help him... 'But they won't help you' the thoughts laughed snidely 'You will be more alone now the boys know what you are, who wants to be around a psycho?'

He looked away from Tae "Fuck this Shit! Why can't I just be dead already?" .... he mumbled under his breath. Uh oh – did he say that out loud?

Shit! He was panicking, the whispers were back, they were pointing out the judgement in Tae's eyes, the disgust in the shape of his lips. He couldn't breathe, his heart was pounding, and the more he looked at the boys, the worse it got. Jimin closed his eyes – not wanting to see Tae anymore. It felt like there was a band around his chest, that kept getting tighter and he was panting now, his eyes flitting from face to face. He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream, he kept breathing out, but couldn't seem to breathe in. He was getting light headed, finally he managed to inhale.

Moments passed and no one said anything. And the tears were back, dripping between his eyelashes from under his lids. Even the thoughts were silent, the only thing he could hear was his rapid breathing and the little catch in each breath as he tried to get himself under control. He knew he was making it worse, he was such an idiot.

Why were they so quiet. There were 4 grown men in the room, and no one said anything. Was it that bad? Crap – what had he said? He started to pray for his heart to just STOP.

"Jimin...." Tae started, but Jimin knew what he was going to say and he interrupted speaking quickly in between gasps.

"I'm sorry Tae....I know we're not really friends ....and I swear I will never ask for anything ever again... I promise I'll stop annoying you... hell – I won't even talk to you ... " He slurred, squeezing his eyes as tightly closed as they could get, trying to stop the tears.

"You'll never have to deal with my drama again ... ... just PLEASE Tae ... please just don't tell anyone" Having his eyes closed made him nauseous, the room was spinning and his rapid breathing made him want to pass out.

"Please....." Jimin's voice was getting slower as a warm blackness gathered his thoughts in and wrapped them in the dark of oblivion

"What the fuck was that?" Kookie whispered, as Tae lifted Jimin into his arms.

"Panic Attack" Yoongi replied just as quietly.

"A what?"

"A Panic Attack – I've seen it before, my sister used to have them when she was a teenager, but she grew out of them ... or learnt to deal with them... I don't know... I don't really know much about them"

Tae was holding Jimin against his chest, with one arm wrapped around his back and the other under his knees. He felt tiny, and breakable, and so fucking light – did this kid ever eat?

"Tae?" Jimin whispered. Tae looked down at him in surprise, he thought Jimin was still asleep, but Jimin's deep brown eyes, rimmed in red, were blinking up at him blearily.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry ......." Jimin mumbled, wrapping his arms around Tae's neck and closing his eyes again.

It was so completely unexpected that Tae almost dropped him. They had never really shared the type of friendship that invited hugs or skin-ship of any kind, and while he was happy that carrying Jimin was easier with his arms around Tae's neck, he wasn't sure how he felt about any of the rest of it. Especially with Tae being certain that Jimin wasn't really aware of what he was doing...

"So warm" Jimin mumbled as he nuzzled Tae's neck with his cold nose, snuggling closer into him and tightening his grip before relaxing again. "Sorry .... I love you.... "he muttered as he started to snore gently.

Every thought in Jimin's head was in unison for once and all of them said the same thing 'OH FUCK!'.

"Wait... you love me?" Tae leant back, his face going white.

But Jimin had passed out again.