Always: Joshifer

Always chapter 25

JOSH POV
"Josh, I..." my heart stops. What is she going to say? I can't wait to find out, but at the same time I'm dreading it.

"I... don't love you."

My heart stops.

"Not yet."

Not yet? The shock must have registered on my face, because she continues.

"I can't think of anyone like that. Not after I've been hurt so much. Right now, I can't risk it happening again."

I cut in. "But you might? Sometime?"

Oh god. I probably sound desperate, instead of what I was trying to do and be confident.

Regardless, I continue. "Maybe our always isn't continuous. Maybe our always is in the end, we're there. And if we're not, it's not the end."

Jen sighs. "Josh, I don't know. So many people have hurt me and it seems like every time something good happens, the relationship gets ruined. I just don't know right now."

I sigh. Why is it so hard for someone to like you, but so easy for someone to dislike you?

"Look, can we start as friends?" I don't know how I can word this.

"And even as friends, I want you to know that from now on, I will always, ALWAYS be there for you."

JEN POV
My heart softens, but my mind stays the same. As usual, my heart gets the better of me and however much I try, I can't tell him to go.

"Hey, how about you stay for a while?" I say.

Josh, looking down, perks up. "Sure. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know, maybe just talk. And eat pizza" I add with a smile.

Josh smirks. "Still the same old Jen," he says softly. We go into my house and
settle down at the table. We talk for a while, non-stop. We connect through our endless conversation. After what seems like only a minute, it's lunch. As usual, we get pizza and talk some more.

"So, Josh." I say. "Is there anything you want to ask me still? !I don't mind. But I don't want to push you."

He replies. "Well, I don't have any questions, because you've given me all the answers but I want you to know, I will always be true with my feelings about you."

Inquisitive, I ask "What are your feelings right now?"

Looking sad, he answers "I love you so much, it hurts. But nothing hurts more than you not loving me."

Empathy overtakes me. His puppy-dog brown eyes are filled with tears, but he doesn't seem embarrassed about them at all. Instead, he is looking directly at me, his strong frame slowly leaning in.

Closer and closer.

I take in everything about him. He smells like outdoors and spearmint gum. His sculpted jaw, so perfect in the light of my kitchen.

We're so close, we're almost touching now. It feels comforting.

I can feel his heartbeat, strong but racing fast. Our lips connect. The tension releases. I am safe in his arms.

Hope you liked that chapter.
Peace, picnics and pineapples,
@joshmopolitan.