Not What it Seems | BTS x Reader | Reverse Harem

Chapter 26 - To Be Loved 🔥

"And I do too! You're important to me Joon.. but you know I can't." Jihye's voice was raised to match Namjoon's. "You know how much I wish I had met you first or that I wasn't married.. but I didn't and I am! What do you expect me to do?"

Namjoon ran his fingers through his hair and sighed for the umpteenth time tonight. He shook his head before looking straight at his paramour again.

"So then why did you push me away the first time I was with you?" Namjoon's sudden reference to their first encounter caught her off guard. Again, she was silent.

"You wish you had met me first..?" Scoffing harshly, it was clear how ridiculous Namjoon thought this was. "The thing is Jihye.. I don't know how long that'll be good enough for."

"What? So you'll just leave me all by myself? Like Minho does? God knows what else he's up to that workaholic.." Her voice was now shaking, tears streaming down her face as her make up ran.

"Don't say his name." He hated whenever Jihye would bring up her husband, let alone mention him by name.

"You were the one that said you cared about me, you were the one who kissed me first, you were the one that welcomed me into your life."

Jihye was accusatory, pointing the finger. But instead of being defensinve, Namjoon couldnt help but feel responsible.

She's right.

Namjoon was frustrated and was close to storming out of here. But he knew she had a point.

"What's so wrong about wanting to be loved?!" Jihye continued, her anger muffled by her tears.

"What's so wrong about trying to find happines? What's so wrong about the fact that you make me happy?"

More silence clouded the two, neither of them looking directly at the other. Both of them wanting a happily ever after, but for everything, was unable to. What would have happened if she had met Namjoon before she met her husband? What would it be like if they were both single? Would things be easier or just as hard? All the should've, could've, would've, means nothing because wishful thinking is for the delusional.

At this point, Jihye was choking on her tears, and Namjoon was broken. He didn't think that she had the energy but Jihye mustered up the strength to look at Namjoon one last time. And like some famous last words, she poetically called out to the rapper, equally defeated.

"What's so wrong about loving two people at the same time?"

Immediately, Namjoon pulled the woman into his embrace and held on to her like there was no tomorrow. He wrapped his arms around her shaking body as she clung onto him reassuringly.

He felt guilty. Guilty for enabling her to come to him whenever she needed to. Guilty for making her cry. Even guilty for not telling her the truth all those years ago. The truth that he just wanted her for himself. She made him weak, his kryptonite, but his soft spot for her made him sweep all his feelings under the rug, and here they were. In each other's arms, but not belonging to the other.

Kissing her forehead and stroking her head comfortingly, Namjoon whispered, "I'm sorry Jihye.."

He inhaled her freshly shampooed hair, wishing desperately for her to stop crying. He hated to see her like this. He had never pressed Jihye like he did just then, but Jihye had also never said she loved her. He had a bittersweet feeling in his chest, like the taste of dark chocolate, Jihye's words gave him warmth. But he was disappointed in himself that he had to back her into a corner to do it.