Sixty-One

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It had been exactly four days since Camila had spilled the truth to Lauren. The two have not contacted each other since. Of course, they wanted to, but neither knew what to say. Camila was stuck between choosing the girl she loves and the company which became her life from the time her father signed it over. As for Lauren, she was hurt. She knew what the company meant to Camila, but couldn't understand why the girl couldn't fight harder for her.

The green-eyed girl was in deep thought whether she should call or at least text her girlfriend. Technically, they were still together, but Lauren felt as though their relationship was hanging by a thread. The worst part of it all was that she had no control over it. She could and would fight for Camila with her all, but as for the younger girl, she wasn't sure that would be reciprocated.

Checking her phone and staring at Camila's contact picture, Lauren grew frustrated at her indecisiveness to either reach out or not. Thus, she decided that a breeze of fresh air might help clear her mind. The sun was about to set as Lauren grabbed her charcoal oversized cardigan and headed downstairs outside of her apartment complex.

She sat on a nearby bench, thinking when suddenly, a black Audi pulled up next to her.

Camila's car...

The smaller girl got out of the car, walking over to the side where Lauren was as they both met gazes.

"Hey I-," Camila said, but before she could utter another word, the green-eyed girl ran up to her, attacking her with an affectionate embrace. Sighing deeply, Camila reciprocated, wrapping her arms around Lauren's waist.

The two stayed in their silent embrace for a few moments before pulling away.

Lauren's eyes were beginning to fill with tears as she connected her eyes with Camila's.

"Why didn't you call...?" Lauren finally managed to say, her voice filled with sadness and despair.

"I needed time to think," Camila replied, wiping the tear that fell from her girlfriend's eye. Her eyes were now also starting to fill with tears.

"And?" Lauren asked.

Now it was Camila's turn to let the droplets fall from her eyes. She turned around, breaking eye contact as she placed both of her hands on the car, crying profusely.

"Lauren I can't..." the smaller girl uttered between sobs.

"Camila..." Lauren spoke softly. By the condition of what her girlfriend is in, Lauren knew what Camila was intending on saying.

Taking a big gulp, the smaller girl turned back around to face her girlfriend as she wiped the tears from her face.

"I'm sorry Lauren," Camila apologized, using her right hand to caress her girlfriend's face.

"No don't," the green-eyed girl said defensively, slapping Camila's hand away. "I already know what you're gonna say so why don't you just say it?"

"You're not making this any easier," the smaller girl sobbed. "You know how much I want to be with you and how much I l-,"

"Stop. Don't say it," Lauren interjected. "Those words don't mean anything if you can't even fight for us."

Camila was at a lost of words. The internal pain in her chest was beginning to take over her externally. She wanted Lauren to understand that this was temporary. She wanted to ask her to wait, but she couldn't do that. After moments of just the two of them sobbing, the smaller girl finally regained composure and began to speak.

"You don't deserve this Lauren. I don't deserve you," Camila said apologetically, her hand finding its way back to the green-eyed girl's cheek. This time, Lauren didn't budge. "I came here and actually prepared this whole speech to say in hopes that it would make things easier. But there's really no easy way to end things with someone you love is there?"

Lauren interlaced her fingers with Camila's free hand before pulling her into an embrace, succumbing to her feelings. The smaller girl closed her eyes, feeling comfort in her girlfriend's arms as she shed another tear.

"It's okay," Lauren said. "You don't have to say anything... I already know."

"I should go...," Camila said as she pulled away from Lauren.

"Please stay," Lauren pleaded. "Just for the night?" she asked, giving Camila that look that no one could resist.

Lauren led the smaller girl back to the apartment and into her bedroom. It wasn't that late at night but neither of them was really in the mood to do anything else after the conversation they just had. The two laid in bed in each other's arms for a few hours with Camila continuously fiddling with Lauren's locks as the green-eyed tried to fight falling asleep.

"You should sleep," the smaller girl suggested, planting a kiss on Lauren's forehead.

"But then you'll leave once I do," Lauren said as she met Camila's eyes.

"Lauren..."

"I just want to spend as much time with you as I can okay?" the green-eyed girl said, sinking her head back in Camila's arm.

Camila didn't respond but just complied with Lauren's request as she continued what she was doing before. But soon after, the green-eyed girl's breathing became calmer as she fell into her slumber. The smaller girl smiled at the stunning and peaceful appearance that the girl in front of her radiated.

How could I be so stupid to let you go? Camila thought to herself.

Getting up slowly from the bed, Camila placed a pillow in replacement of her in hopes that Lauren wouldn't wake up. She then made her way to the living room, finding a pen and paper in which she began writing.

I know my words probably don't mean anything to you right now, but please believe me when I say this or in this case write it. I am so sorry. My heart hurts and I know you're hurting too. I wish I could take away your pain because you don't deserve any of this. I love you so much, Lauren. Please hold onto that.

-Your Camz

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