Friend

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As you button up your skirt, you try not to focus on how your hands are shaking due to the length of time it has been since you last gulped some alcohol. 

Vodka, to be specific. 

How you were craving it...

You had tried to go cold-turkey from last night as you knew you had this get together for this evening at Demi's house. 

Even with your foggy drunk brain, you were still able to come to the clear conclusion that she definitely wouldn't appreciate her best friend arriving fully intoxicated while she is trying to keep up her sobriety. 

Pinching the bridge of your nose as you bend to grab your purse, you figure the headache isn't worth it. 

Half-intoxicated wouldn't be too bad, would it? 

You bet she wouldn't even notice. 

Or maybe that was the alcohol speaking as you hurriedly swig a huge mouthful of the clear burning liquid before heading out the door. 

Arriving at Demi's house fifteen minutes late, you take a long drawn-out breath through your nose to try and clear your head before knocking on the door. The last minute 'sip' you took definitely did the trick and you had felt your entire body relax on your walk over. 

See? That was all you needed. A quick lick and you're back to normal. Alcohol keeps you at your best version of yourself so what's the big deal? Without it, you're just a grumpy low-life who can't stand to be around other people. 

This way, you were able to be the happy-go-lucky BFF at Demi's party and no one will suspect a thing. 

"Hey, Y/n!" Matt cheers as he opens the door, pulling you inside. 

"Hello," you laugh at his welcome, "is everyone here already? I'm so sorry I'm late, I was held up at...work...you know how it is..."

"Haha, yeah too well," he rolls his eyes making you chuckle again, "I think most people are here but I don't know for sure how many people Demi invited. Everyone's in the living room though and I think Demi will be excited to see you. FINALLY!"

"Brilliant. Thanks," you say, shuffling through. 

You aren't surprised by his words. You had been kind of MIA recently as your drinking habit had started to spiral out of control. Well, you wouldn't call it 'out-of-control'. But any health professional probably would. That's why you hadn't mentioned it to anyone. You didn't need anyone else telling you how much of a failure you were. That was what started all this in the first place. You suppose it's not that shocking to hear that - yes - being the best friend of Demi Lovato: the huge superstar with hundreds of millions of fans worldwide because of her amazing voice...makes you feel kind of inadequate in comparison. 

And it had all sort of gotten to you recently. The feeling of inadequacy when you would think about how far she has come in life while you are just...there...trying to find your own way in this cruel world. So that's where the vodka started to come in handy. Just to take the edge off. Or, at least, that's where it started. 

The height of irony, right?

Demi Lovato's best friend completely disregarding everything the singer stands for and going and getting herself squashed under the label of 'alcoholic'. You figure the feeling of embarrassment would probably burn too...if it weren't for the burning already running down your throat as you finish yet another bottle of the day. 

But today you had only had one sip, right? And you felt fine...

This is what you had to remind yourself, ignoring the strobing lights that flash across your retinas as you enter the living room. You had no time for withdrawal symptoms tonight. This was supposed to be fun. And hey, maybe you would be able to slip something into your cup later on if you managed to keep your hip-flask close. You would have to anyway. Demi would freak if she found it in her house. 

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