I'm trying to forget that I'm addicted to you

27

We were at the concert. I was sitting between Jamie and Tammy, Amber next to Jamie and Bryan next to Amber. Bryan and I translated to Tammy, Jamie and Amber. Then my favorite South African singer came on with a girl. 

"Yay. There's my man!"

Jamie looked at me. I laughed I know he was going to. Tammy laughed too.

"She loves him and his music. He sings with this girl they have so many albums together. But he has his own albums too. He is also apart of a boy band too Eden." Bryan said.

"Don't worry he's married. But he's my kind of guy. Sweet and caring. Good looks. Good heart. And one amazing voice." 

"So what are they singing?"

"Give me a second I'll translate now. I love the song they are singing. One of my favorites of them."

"Ok."

"Can you remember what we did for love. It was for you what I did for love. Your mouth was like sweet syrup for me. Feel my hands on your body. I couldn't get enough. Can you remember what we did for love. For love."

He laughed. "Nice."

"Very." I said jokingly. 

Then I translate my favorite songs the one was. It was one of the songs I used to listen to when Jamie left. "This song I used to listen to when you left." I said to Jamie but I didn't look at him. 

"Will you translate it?"

"Yes."

So I translate it to him.

"Where are you? Can not see you. Here I am. But you don't deserve what I give. Just want to take. Just want to have. Are you wondering why I'm quiet. Answer me if it's your desire to safe what there is. You'll miss me one day. Sometimes you're sad because you're heart is hurting. Sometimes you're advised because you have no advice. But your heart must learn about the pain and what is happening to him. But it will stop if I can just learn to forget about you. Don't you just wanna try before you don't even give it a chance. What we have what we know only happens this time. Only this time."

I had tears in my eyes but I didn't look at him. I was hoping he wouldn't see them. He takes my hand. "I'm sorry."

"I-it's ok. It's over now."

The showed continued and another one of my favorites came on and I translated the song too. 

"The world is broken my love. We are never meant to be here to fear. We have no excuse not to dream. We are young and we want to live. We want to be more than what we are now. Your love breaks through all the hurt. We break down the walls of the past. We are young and we wanna live. We let the light come in. The world seeks for excuses my love. But you know we're never meant to hold back or to fold. I don't wanna make promises and break them. You have to get up and say what you ever wanted to say. There's miles between who you are and who you want to be. All that's holding you back is your fears. Can we forget about our past. Can we try to forgive?"

"That's beautiful." Amber said. 

"Yeah." Jamie agreed.

Through the rest of the show we enjoyed all they had. The next song that came on was very dear to me. But when it started there was a black screen behind the guy. In black and white. It was about all the attacks and murders in South Africa. Mostly farm attacks and murders. I had tears in my eyes. Jamie asked to translate but I couldn't. So Bryan did. He told Jamie what it was about. 

"If you fall fall on your knees. If you break try again. Even when it hurts. Just know that He was broken for you. He will keep you standing."

Then all the names came up of the people who were attacked and murdered. There were so many names. I cried like a baby. My name was at the end of the list too of 2018. Jamie put his arm around me and I soon wiped the tears away. The show continued. 

With the last song I got my confidence back a little. The song gave me chills. 

"South Africa I love you. During the thunderstorms. You know so much blood was spread ed. But we're not going anywhere. We're here to stay. We for you."

"Sing Afrikaners sing." 

"Oh sorry that wasn't part of the song. He said that." I giggled. 

Jamie laughed and at the end of the song it reminded me of who I was. Of who I am. What happened to me was terrible. And it's not easy to forget it. But I'm alive. 

"I don't want to go. I don't want to leave."

Jamie looked at me. Tammy too. But no one said anything. 

If you like this story please Vote for it. At the end of the chapter you will see a star that says vote. Please click on it. Thank you. Ema.