I'm trying to forget that I'm addicted to you

24

Elena's pov:

I was out of the hospital and back home. It was scary to be back in my home where I was attacked. I got flashbacks. I remember everything that has happened that night. I wanted to forget it so badly, but the memory is not going away. Jamie found me sitting in corners of the house crying  a lot of times. I couldn't sleep from the nightmares I was getting. It woke me up and I sat and cry for hours after that. I went to therapy but I didn't talk. I just sit and stare at the walls. I didn't want to  talk about what happened. I just wanted to forget. I still had bruises and scars. Especially in my face. How can people do this? 

I was sitting in the kitchen at the table and I was half asleep, sitting on the chair, laying on the table. Bryan came in and he talks to me.

"Elena wake up."

I gasp and just look at him. He sat down. 

"Sorry." I said.

"We need to talk." 

"About what?"

"Lena you need to talk about what happened to you."

"I don't want to."

I put my legs up on the chair and held it against my chest. And I stare at the wall. I had tears in my eyes. 

"Lena... Please. I know what happened to you was terrible. But you need to talk to someone about it."

"No."

Jamie and Amber came in but they didn't say anything just made themselves some coffee. Bryan continued pushing me to talk.

"Lena. Talk to me. Your therapist called me. He said your not talking. You just sit there in his office and stare and then you say thank you and leave again. Not to mention Jamie finding you in corners, crying. I get it that it's hard on you. But you need to talk to someone."

"Just let it go Bryan. Please."

"Lena you know I'm not going to so talk to me."

"Stop pushing me." I started crying. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Lena."

I got up and I broke down completely. 

"I can't even sleep Bryan. All I see is what happened to me that night. They attacked me in this kitchen. Hitting me with the walking stick I was planning on using to protect myself with if something like this happens. They hit me over and over, again and again. The more I begged them not to and to stop the more they hit me. They stabbed me with a knife as well. 3 attackers were all over me. I tried to fight back but they were too many for me to handle. They kept calling me a white bitch, White trash. And they kept saying they will beat me till I breath out my last breathe. I don't want to remember anything that has happened that night, that's why I'm not talking about it. I just want to forget about all of it. But I remember everything. When I close my eyes it is all I see. I'm so scared. I'm even scared to be in my own house. I'm scared to walk around in this house. I keep thinking they will be around the corner again waiting for me, dragging me on my feet again. I want to forget it so badly. I've never been so scared in my life like I was that night. I kept praying that they won't be able to get the chance to kill me. It was hell. So stop pushing me."

"Then move out of South Africa."

"I've been trying to move out of this country for 2 years now. Ever since they shot my husband. I applied to Canada, Australia, New Zealand, USA. And I hear nothing. I have tried to get out of this country I love so much."

"Then let me help you get out of here. I can help you get into New Zealand."

"Just stop pushing me Bryan."

I left the kitchen and went up to my room. I closed the door and laid on the bed crying.

"Elena." Bryan yells at me.

"Give her some time." Amber said. "Just give her space."

"Fine, do you want to go out for a bit?" Bryan ask Amber.

"Let me just go and get ready first. Meet you here in an hour." Amber said.

Jamie came to my room and opened the door. He knocks. 

"Can I come in?"

I just nod.

He came in and closed the door. He sat on the bed.

"Are you ok?"

I didn't answer him. I was just crying.

"I have an idea. I don't know if you will be willing to do it." he said.

"W-what?"

"How about you marry me."

I sat up straight and look at him. "What?"

"If you marry me you and the kids can come with me to Ohio."

"But Jamie. Marriage is forever. And taking care of kids is a huge responsibility. You don't even want kids. I don't know if this is a solution."

"It will get you and your kids safe. And I love you and your kids. I want to get you safe. I know it is forever but I want to be with you forever. So marry me."

"I know your trying to safe me but... This is crazy."

"Lena. Do you love me?"

"Of course I do. So much. But I..."

"Then I don't see a problem here. I'll treat your kids as if they were my own."

He got up and he pulls me up from the bed. He holds me close to him and looks me in the eyes. "Elena marry me. I want you. I already told you. I want all of you. That includes your kids too. Be mine forever and marry me."

"Ok. I'll marry you."

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