I'm trying to forget that I'm addicted to you

1

Let me start with.... My name of course. My name is Elena. I'm 28 years old and well I've had very tough times in my life.
I'm a single mother. My husband died a few years ago in a farm attack. They shot him 5 times in the chest. We were married for 5 years. We got our first daughter also 5 years ago. Her name is Dezi. Yeah she's 5 years old. But we lost him 2 years ago.
I my other 2 daughters. One 4 years and other one 2. Holly and Lizzie. My youngest only knew him a few months before he got shot. He worked away in the week days so he lived on a farm in a one room apartment. And they broke into his apartment and shot him. Sad story yes I know.
We live in South Africa and there is terrorist that's attacking and killing our farmers. The reason why they do... We don't really know. But so many families has been thorn apart because of this.
It's so awful and so sad and heart breaking.
I'm your typical 'boere' girl as they would say here in South Africa. Although I don't live on a farm anymore. I used to when my hubby was still alive. But because of the attack we moved into the town.
As I said I live in South Africa in a town called Potchefstroom.
And a 'boere' girl is like a country girl. For those of you who don't understand my Afrikaans. Yes I'm a afrikaner. As they call us here in South Africa. 'Die boere' the farmer. Also what they call us here. Born and raised one. Also a very proud one too.

Anyways... A few months ago I met someone online. In America. First we just talked like normally. And I started to like him at first. And then things got a bit more serious as you can say. I never ment to actually fall for this guy. But turns out I did. But he left without any reason. I haven't heard from him for some time now. He told me so many things. Like how beautiful I am and amazing. And that he really has strong feelings for me. But after that he just left.
And I try to forget about him but he's on my mind constantly.
I met him through my best friend. Online best friend. I only have real friends that is online. They live in the USA and one in India.
Sad but true. But I'm hoping that one day I will have the honour to meet them.

So about the guy I guess I will never know the truth about him.
I guess I will never hear from him again. Guess it was all just some crazy dream. I never planned to fall for him obviously not. But something about him just got my attention I guess. Maybe I was just imagining it. The fact that we had chemistry. Maybe it was all just a fantasy. I don't know. And I won't ever know the truth about him ever. And I hope I won't get judge for this. But he is one of my best friends ex. They never were really serious. And I did tell her the moment things got serious. Yes she was hurt. But I told her that I didn't plan it and I was also very honest with her when I told her that I was falling for him. So maybe I deserved this.

But life goes on. I still at least have my beautiful girls. My daughter's. My world. My life. My everything.

This is something new I'm working on right now. I'm still writing the parts but will update as I have them. I hope its something that you as readers would like me to continue. But please do let me know. Thank you to those who is reading this.  And please VOTE!
Love Ema.