22. girl, interrupted

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I was just looking for somewhere to be,
free from grief and loss.

There are several stages when it comes to falling in love. First is the falling itself; where you are almost in a daze, floating amongst the clouds that envelope around you. Then comes the honeymoon phase; where you've finally fallen and you're undeniably in love with someone who is willing to show you the world through their eyes. And when you try to show them the world through your eyes, you find the difficulty to do so because your world simply revolved around them. They're the only one you see. Then comes the downfall; where everything seems to be crashing and burning down no matter how much you stop it from happening.

Love can be selfish. Love can be all things beautiful at the beginning, but over time, it could turn its back on you and leave you in the dark. So, why? Why did you leave me in the dark?

"How was school?"

I glance at Namjoon, who's seated at his desk with his eyes glued towards his laptop screen. He was busy typing up a document that was probably contributing towards his on-going novel that has yet to be edited and published.

"Have you eaten yet? Seokjin came by and dropped off some jjajjangmyeon."

Namjoon had met Jin when they were in their first year of university. Jin was pursuing his passion for culinary arts while Namjoon was pursuing an English major. The two of them had so happened to cross paths when Jin took an English class out of curiosity, and he so happened to sit right next to Namjoon on their first day of lecture. Things led to another and Jin found himself failing English, having difficulty writing essays and writing down his thoughts and arguments. Thus, Namjoon had become his English tutor. The two of them had found out they were soulmates when—

"You never told me how you and Jin found out you were each other's soulmates," I mumble, trudging towards the countertop to grab the bowl of freshly made noodles.

"It was pretty funny, actually," Namjoon chuckles, "none of you know this but, when I turned fifteen, I had gotten a random tattoo on my forearm."

"A tattoo?" He hums in reply. "And let me guess, Jin had the same exact tattoo on his forearm?"

"Correct," he nods his head, "but we found out that we shared the same tattoo when we went to a house party and decided to break into another person's swimming pool."

"Huh," I say softly. "Is that how everyone finds their own soulmate? When I found out that Seolhyun was my soulmate, I just... knew. I had a feeling she was."

"Everyone has their own way of finding their own soulmate, Taehyung-ah. It's different for everyone." Namjoon explains before leaning against his chair and rubbing at his sore eyes. "It really depends. You knew that Seolhyun was your soulmate just because you knew. Didn't you tell me that Soojung found out you were her soulmate when she started throwing up those rose petals?"

"Yeah," I mumble softly. "Selfish, isn't it? She found out I was her soulmate through her disease."

"But such disease is a beautiful thing, Taehyung-ah." Namjoon says with a soft smile. "There was a moment in her life where she was in love with you, but after she had found out the latter, it was almost as if she was reincarnated into another person."

"Do you think we'll ever go back to what we were in the past?"

He nods his head. "Why not? Didn't you say that you got your surgery done?"

"But she tells me otherwise," I whisper.

"If our parents were glitches and ended up together no matter what, that should mean something. That should mean that there's hope for the two of you to fall in love again."

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